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Separated by war
A Petaluma family with four members in the military hasn't spent a Christmas together for five years -- and won't until 2009
FAR-FLUNG FAMILY: Army Lt. Col. Steve Countouriotis and his wife, Debbie, have three grown children who serve in the military. The Petaluma couple's son Demetrius is a staff sergeant in the Marines, and daughter Alethea and son Nick both are captains in the Army, making holiday get-togethers few and far between.
KENT PORTER / The Press DemocratPublished: Sunday, December 23, 2007 at 3:39 a.m.
Last Modified: Saturday, December 22, 2007 at 9:00 p.m.
The empty space under their tree tells the story of Christmas 2007 for Steve and Debbie Countouriotis of Petaluma.
"You can see there are no boxes," said Steve, a lieutenant colonel in the Army Reserve. "The kids aren't here."
"It's hard. We miss the kids," said Debbie, a Marin County schoolteacher.
By "kids," the Countouriotises mean three Iraq war veterans: Army Capts. Nick, 25, and Alethea Countouriotis, 27, and Marine Staff Sgt. Demetrius Countouriotis, 28.
The quiet in their holiday-decorated home in a northeast Petaluma subdivision is nothing new: The five Countouriotises haven't shared a Christmas since 2002.
Nor will they be together at yuletide until 2009.
"We send a lot of boxes overseas," said Debbie, 52, a frequent customer at the Petaluma post office.
Steve, 56, kept a family photo -- taken at a department store in 2002 -- tucked in his wallet through three war tours. He was away for the Christmases of 2003, 2004 and 2006.
A retired Highway Patrol officer, Steve also missed the Christmas of 1990 due to a call-up for the Persian Gulf War.
Steve came home in September from his second tour in Afghanistan, where he served as an adviser to the minister in charge of the Afghan National Police.
Two days later, Demetrius left for his second tour in Iraq, serving with a Marine reconnaissance unit in Anbar province. Last month, Nick departed for his second combat tour, training Iraqi forces in Taji, and won't be home for Christmas until 2009.
Alethea, who was based in Baghdad from 2005-06, is now at Fort Lewis, Wash., with her husband, Army Capt. Jared Bordwell, and their month-old daughter, Anastasia Noel.
The family's displacements are a consequence of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks and the ensuing wars in two countries. "It was inevitable," said Steve, who is set to retire in February after 28 years of reserve and active duty.
Military tradition runs deep in the Countouriotis clan, as Debbie, a fifth-generation San Franciscan, has ancestors who fought in the Civil War, and Steve's Greek-Japanese family tree includes samurai warriors.
His three children joined the military without any urging, Steve said. The eldest, Demetrius, threw his Army dad a curve, however, by signing on with the Marines.
"I'm very proud, as any parent would be," Steve said. "But I'm also very worried."
He regrets the isolation that many military families feel,
engaged in two wars with troops that account for less than 1 percent of the U.S. population.
"Most Americans don't have any reason to be involved," Steve said. "I wish more people were. It's disappointing."
Waking up to an empty house on Christmas Day is a bit melancholy, Debbie said. "It's sad," she said. "You wait for the phone to ring."
Among the decorations on the couple's small Christmas tree are three glass ornaments encasing childhood pictures of their children.
To lift their spirits, the elder Countouriotises will be in Washington on Christmas Day with Alethea and her family.
"Both the boys will call," Debbie said.
You can reach Staff Writer Guy Kovner at 521-5457 or guy.kovner@pressdemocrat.com.
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