Caregivers unpaid, exhausted, invisible

<p>Are you an invisible caregiver? If so, you are in good company.</p><p>An estimated one in six households in Sonoma County relies on unpaid, untrained, exhausted but essential individuals who are caring for others with physical and/or mental limitations. Our national health care system depends on these services, which would cost more than $45 billion a year if paid at market rates.</p><p>Usually caregivers are family members who perform these tasks out of love and a sense of duty. They shop, prepare meals, clean house, assist with bathing, pay bills, manage complex medications and attend doctor visits. But they also have jobs and other family responsibilities. While caregiving can be very rewarding, it can also be devastatingly stressful.</p><p>Short-term caregiving responsibilities are not easy. Briefer hospital stays have led to a surprising level of care expected from friends or family members. With no experience in nursing care, untrained caregivers are expected to dress wounds, pull surgical drains, and figure out how to assist with daily needs that have been significantly altered by recent injury or illness.</p><p>Long-term caregivers are those caring for the elderly or for family members with permanent disabilities. They have the amplified stress of performing skilled and selfless tasks that seem to have no end. Caring for loved ones for many years, they may be unable to find time or energy to address their own needs.</p><p>Medical support usually goes to the one identified as the patient, but caregivers have unique physical and emotional needs that are often not recognized or addressed. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, a national support center for caregivers, 45 percent are clinically depressed, a situation exacerbated by unrealistic expectations and isolation. It is not uncommon for caregivers to have conflicts with other members of the family, or to have feelings of anger, guilt, frustration and helplessness.</p><p>If you are a caregiver, answer the following questions about yourself: In the past week, have you:</p><p>Felt completely overwhelmed?</p><p>Had a crying spell?</p><p>Had trouble keeping your mind on what you were doing?</p><p>Felt that you couldn't leave a relative alone?</p><p>Had difficulty making decisions?</p><p>Felt lonely?</p><p>Felt a loss of privacy or personal time?</p><p>Been edgy or irritable?</p><p>Had your sleep disturbed because of caring for a relative?</p><p>Felt strained between work and family responsibilities?</p><p>Had back pain or felt ill with other physical problems like headaches, stomach problems or common colds?</p><p>If you answered yes to more than half of these questions, or to the first two questions alone, then you are at risk. You have permission to take care of yourself. And here are some suggestions:</p><p>Schedule an appointment with your own physician, making sure you are getting the medical care you need for yourself. If your doctor does not address your special needs as a caregiver, bring up the topic. Be your own advocate.</p><p>Allow others to help you. Ask for specific help from family and friends, and accept it when offered.</p><p>Learn to take care of yourself. Take time off on a regular basis to get your own life in order.</p><p>Contact the local Area Agency on Aging for respite care, counseling and other vital resources. This agency also helps caregivers who are responsible for adults with disabilities; their services are not just for seniors. Check out the contacts provided with this column.</p><p>If you are a physician, allow the Area Agency on Aging to assist with a free program called Making the Link. This program, with minimal time or staffing needs, helps your office identify and refer caregivers to experts who can then help reduce the burden. Do what you can to support caregivers; they are an essential part of your health care team.</p><p>Caregivers need care too. Care for yourself as conscientiously as you care for others. Ask for help, use available resources, and seek support from family, friends and professionals while you continue to care for those you love.</p><p>Dr. Stacey Kerr, a longtime Sonoma County family physician, graduated from UC Davis Medical School and is certified in her specialty by the American Board of Family Medicine. Her columns are not intended as a substitute for hands-on medical advice or treatment. Consult your health care provider before adhering to any recommendations in this column. E-mail comments to drkerr@the-doctors-inn.com.</p>