Gay marriage issue goes from legal to spiritual
North Coast religious leaders differ over whether to perform ceremonies
Published: Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 3:44 a.m.
Last Modified: Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 6:07 a.m.
It's dim inside, with light streaming through antique Gothic stained-glass windows.
A picturesque setting, ideal for any parishioners of the Incarnation Episcopal Church in Santa Rosa who want to wed in their place of worship.
But not if they're a same-sex couple.
The local church has gay and lesbian members. Some are in leadership roles. And a few are hoping to marry, now that it's legal to do so in California.
But if the Rev. Matthew Lawrence agrees to officiate the weddings, he must conduct them outside of the church -- literally and figuratively.
"I personally, as a priest, support gay marriage. But I am unable to conduct gay marriages in my church building at present because of my bishop's policy about that," he said.
And it is the policy of the international Anglican Communion, which in recent years has seen Episcopal churches including one in Petaluma split to join an orthodox stream opposed to gay bishops and same-sex marriages.
When the California Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in a controversial 4-3 ruling last month, it reignited such conflict within religious communities.
In the North Coast, religious leaders like Lawrence and Methodist Rev. Kimberly Willis are are trying to balance personal beliefs with contrary church doctrine.
Several others are lining up to bless the unions inside their places of worship.
"I'm really excited, it's been a long fight," said Rabbi George Gittleman of the Congregation Shomrei Torah in Santa Rosa.
His synagogue is part of a reformist stream of Judaism widely supportive of gay rights. Opposition would be unlikely if he were to hold same-sex weddings in his synagogue, he said.
He's happy to do so for gay Jews, along with seven other local spiritual leaders of varying faiths. But just as their doors are opening up, others are slamming shut.
The opposition is so great within the Christ Church United Methodist, said Willis, that while she would cherish the chance to wed same-sex couples, she just can't. Unless she wants to risk being defrocked.
Willis wore her white collar to the Sonoma County Pride festival last Sunday and watched a symbolic same-sex commitment ceremony with a smile.
About 10 percent of parishioners in her Santa Rosa church are gay, she said, but while "welcoming," the wider congregation does not support the blessing of same-sex unions.
"Some people say, 'You should do it and fall on your sword,' " she said. "But some of us have to stay within the church and work to change it."
The effort to do so was even tougher where she was before.
She came to Santa Rosa from Kern County, where the clerk's office has stopped officiating weddings of all couples in response to the state Supreme Court's controversial ruling.
There, parishioners would whisper about their sons or daughters being gay, she said.
"People are tired of the religious community being hateful," she said. "The marriages are about opening up a right for people, not taking anything away from anyone else."
That's not how Bishop Daniel Walsh of the Catholic Diocese of Santa Rosa sees it.
In a letter to parishioners last week, Walsh said the church condemns "all forms of violence, scorn, hatred" against homosexuals. They should be encouraged to participate in the faith community, he said.
But, he added, the church cannot "approve of redefining marriage, which has a unique place in God's creation."
Local Republican Party chairman Michael Erickson, an ordained Anglican priest, agrees.
Pastors marrying same-sex couples are "in a state of heresy from real Christianity" and "acting contrary to biblical law," he said.
Like many orthodox members of the Anglican Communion, Erickson believes same-sex marriage threatens the "intrinsic sanctity" of marriage.
"In a word, marriage itself becomes mundane," he said.
Hundreds of conservative bishops said in a statement last week they will boycott an upcoming Anglican conference in England and instead attend a rival meeting in Jerusalem.
"The Bible is very clear that homosexual practice is sin," the Church of Uganda, an Episcopal church, said in the statement. The statement said bishops will not "tolerate such theological corruption" by the Episcopal Church in the U.S.
In Petaluma, St. John's Episcopal Church broke away two years ago in opposition to issues of homosexuality, renaming itself St. John's Anglican.
But for every church opposed to same-sex unions, there's another in support of it.
That was the case in Bakersfield on Tuesday, the first full day that same-sex couples could legally marry in the state.
Local clergy gathered to marry same-sex couples outside the Kern County clerk's office.
An Episcopal minister and a dozen supporters stood in solidarity but didn't participate because of conflict over the issue.
The Episcopal bishop of Northern California, the Rev. Barry Beisner, wrote in a letter to parishioners that he is forming a diocesan study group on same-sex unions in preparation for their Anaheim convention next summer.
In the meantime, the Rev. Lawrence is planning to hold a wedding just outside his Santa Rosa church building for a gay parishioner this month.
It's been tough for the 46-year-old parishioner to reconcile opposition to his nuptials from within, and outside, his faith.
He stopped by the county clerk's first-ever booth at the pride festival and picked up a new gender-neutral marriage license application form.
His church had a small table at the June 15 festival.
But he asked his name be withheld because he owns a Santa Rosa business with his partner and doesn't want his customers to know they're gay.
Or getting married.
"We've come a long way," he said. "But we still have a lot of growth to see real progress with people accepting who we are, and our legal rights."
You can reach Staff Writer Shadi Rahimi at 521-5280 or shadi.rahimi@
pressdemocrat.com.
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