A legacy of kindness

Success might be found in silence. And tears.

Hundreds of Rancho Cotate High School students filled the gymnasium bleachers Tuesday, eyes glued to a massive video screen at the far end of the floor.

Images of a smiling toddler, a precocious teen and confident high-schooler flashed on the screen as the singer Jewel sang the lyrics "In the end, only kindness matters."

The girl in the photos was Rachel Scott, the first person killed in the 1999 Columbine High School shootings that left 15 dead and became the deadliest high school shooting in the nation's history.

"Usually our rallies are pretty rowdy," said Rancho junior Brighid O'Halloran, still emotional after the assembly. "But this was utter silence."

Intended to promote daily acts of kindness and acceptance and to reduce students' feelings of isolation, three assemblies for all students at Rancho Cotate, Technology, Phoenix and El Camino high schools were put on Tuesday by Rachel's Challenge, a Colorado-based nonprofit group started by Scott's family in 2000.

The $5,000 program fee included an evening session for the community and empathy training for more than 50 students from all four schools. It was paid for by a combination of funds from the Cotati-Rohnert Park Unified School District, the city of Rohnert Park and the "Every 15 Minutes" drunken-driving prevention program.

The message was multifaceted but clear: Reach out to those you don't know with kindness, and to those you are already close with, reaffirm your feelings.

"I think we have a challenge of seeing the world from others' eyes, seeing what situation people are in and how that affects their vision of the world," said John Laughlin, coordinator of student support services for the district.

For sophomore Ray Zerbe, the message was poignant in its timing. A friend in Southern California committed suicide six weeks ago.

"He had a lot of stuff going on," Zerbe said, adding that he tries to practice kindness.

"I'm already doing that, telling people you love them," he said.

For Tuesday's event to have an impact, students need to put kindness into practice in ways that might challenge their usual way of doing things, said Beth Smith, principal of both El Camino and Phoenix high schools.

"I hope that what my kids get out of it is a new way of looking at the way they treat people around them," she said. "One afternoon is not going to work unless they work on it themselves."

More than 50 students from the four high schools were selected to participate in "Friends of Rachel," a more in-depth training on how to spread acts of kindness and understanding at school and in the community.

"We are basically a preventive maintenance type of tool a school can use," said Michael Kilgore, director of program delivery for Rachel's Challenge. "We don't make the promise that if this had happened, the tragedy wouldn't have happened, because we don't know for sure."

The program asks students to be aware of those who are sometimes overlooked: the new kid, the loner, the custodian. It also reminds students to tell those around them that they love them.

"I want you to think of five, six people who are close to you," presenter Joseph Manning told the students. "Over the next three days, I want you to go to these people."

Put the sarcasm aside, the little jokes -- really tell them, he said.

That message struck a chord with O'Halloran.

"I'm a sarcastic person, not everyone knows when I'm kidding," she said. "I have people who I love say, 'Ouch, Brighid, that was mean.' "

But O'Halloran said she has an immediate plan.

"I'm going to go home and tell my mom I love her and make sure that everyone I love knows," she said.

Staff Writer Kerry Benefield writes an education blog at extracredit.pressdemocrat.com. She can be reached at 526-8671 or kerry.benefield@

pressdemocrat.com.