This guy was lucky the beer was lite

Dusk neared Saturday as 28-year-old Kayte Taylor and three girlfriends pulled up to Sam's Market on Santa Rosa Avenue to buy beer.

Kayte and the one pal who accompanied her inside chatted merrily as Kayte reached into the cooler. Just then a man strode up, bumped Kayte and snatched her wallet from her other hand.

"He's got my wallet!" Kayte yelled as the robber headed for the door.

Taking chase, Kayte reached the sidewalk to see the guy pushing and trying to mount a bicycle. It dawned on Kayte there was something useful in her hand.

A 12-pack of Miller Lite -- bottles. Her friends' eyes widened as Kayte hoisted the box to shoulder height, reared back and shot-put the beer at the burglar maybe 12 feet away.

Pow. Down he went. Four women were on him like kids on a burst piñata. Kayte took back her wallet.

Rather than keep wrestling with the crook, the women let him up but took hold of his bicycle. He demanded it, pleaded for it, but he wasn't getting it.

When he started down the avenue on foot, one of Kayte's friends -- the one who's a security guard and was in uniform -- tailed him until police arrived to arrest him.

The ladies observed while rehashing the incident that several male bystanders had just stood there, not one making a move to help. Maybe it was the shock of seeing a guy put down by a 12-pack.

AN ACT OF COD? Piner High senior Danny Zahl and some fellow members of the heavy metal band Woldwarden were standing outside Danny's country home off Olivet Road on Sunday. They were about to start a practice.

Something went, Crack! It was a loud, sharp, striking sound. Danny's parents, Brian and Barb, heard it, too. Everybody looked around to see what had happened.

Danny and his friends checked the garage and discovered that something disgusting was dripping from the ceiling. What the . . .?

A fish protruded part-way through the tiles on the garage roof and oozed goo onto the garage floor.

A ladder was climbed and the partially eaten remains of a good-sized specimen -- a koi, maybe, or a carp -- were pulled down through three broken roof tiles.

What if the fish, presumably dropped by a high-flying egret or other bird, had hit somebody? Danny and his bandmates don't like to think about how badly the falling fish episode might have ended, but they do wonder if there's a song there somewhere.

THE TRUE NO. 1: Attorney and long-ago Little League coach Les Perry read about Santa Rosa native David Budworth being declared San Francisco's best butcher by 7X7 magazine, and he smiled.

It's not that the butcher story was funny. Les is proud that David, one of his former baseball players, has grown up to master a profession.

What tickled Les was recalling the favorite story of his Little League coaching career.

In a game behind Steele Lane School about 35 years ago, his team was steamrolling the opponents. As Les remembers, the score was something like 33-2 when it came David's turn to bat. He was a great kid, and now he's a famous butcher, but he wasn't much of a ballplayer.

At this at-bat, though, he smacked the ball and ran all the way to third base. Les stood near him, coaching third, when the next boy came to bat.

Les recalls that kid swinging at the first pitch and missing by a mile. When the batter swung wildly at the next pitch, too, the third baseman turned to young David Budworth and asked, "Is that the worst guy on your team?"

Les still can see David shaking his head and replying as cleanly and honorably as can be, "Nope. I am."

Chris Smith is at 521-5211 and chris.smith@pressdemocrat.com.