COLLINS: Sanford's affair to remember

Before everyone finishes piling on Gov. Mark Sanford, let me say that all of us in New York were happy to learn that he has been scheduling his assignations in our state.

Really, times are tough, and we need all the business we can get. Although it is true that our hotels can be somewhat pricey, there are lots of discounts, and the airfare is way, way cheaper than it is to Argentina.

Plus, you can see “South Pacific.”

Sanford, as the whole world now knows, went missing in action when he secretly snuck off to Buenos Aires to see his lover. Ever since he got caught at the airport coming home, he has been confessing and apologizing and talking and talking and talking.

Some of his allies back in South Carolina have made a commendable, if self-interested, attempt to draw a line between Sanford’s private sins and his public role as chief executive.

But the governor himself, in an interview with the Associated Press, seemed more interested in what he called “the sex line” that apparently exists to divide his “soul mate,” Maria Belen Chapur, from other women whom he’s lusted after in his heart — and possibly with his hands.

The whole “sex line” business called up memories of my Catholic girlhood, where the nuns could delineate the exact moment at which making out with your boyfriend advanced from venial to mortal sin territory. If Sanford has been reading from the same guidebook, it’s possible that he was listing every female he had ever bumped into in the hallway.

But we digress.

In South Carolina, the debate started with the question of whether the real issue was the governor’s romantic life or his failure to leave anybody in charge when he vanished without so much as call-forwarding.

But Sanford was so clearly in the wrong on that count that his supporters quickly turned to matters of finance and whether he had traveled to Argentina on his own dime. He said he had — although he backtracked on a promise to prove it. And he agreed to reimburse the state for an earlier economic development trip to South America that he re-routed to Buenos Aires in the name of love.

Talking about money was familiar ground for South Carolina conservatives, and it looked for a while as if they might settle on a rule that sex is irrelevant unless it leads to a tax increase.

Then Sanford, who has been in an extremely peculiar mode ever since his return, gave that interview in which he described his trips to New York with Chapur. He said the most recent one occurred earlier this year and was approved by his wife, Jenny (Not the Soul Mate) Sanford under the theory that her husband only wanted to see his lover in order to break up with her.

Serving as chaperone was a “spiritual adviser,” who I hope was given enough downtime to enjoy a nice dinner and take in some sights. Chinatown is fun.

The revelations about that New York trip throw a new and interesting light on Sanford’s jaunt to Buenos Aires, for which he apparently also sought his wife’s blessing. I think I speak for us all when I say that no spouse is allowed more than one officially sanctioned good-bye visit to his mistress. Especially since there was apparently no spiritual counselor invited on the Argentina leg, an oversight I’m sure was because of the expense.

Yet another reason why it is better to schedule all these get-togethers in the Big Apple. (Broadway tickets sold at a discount near Times Square!) Having affairs in New York is a longtime American political tradition.

The late, great R.W. Apple Jr. once told me that when he was a metro reporter for the New York Times in 1963, he was assigned to stake out the lobby of a hotel in Manhattan where President John F. Kennedy was spending the night. While on the lookout for official visitors, Apple said he saw “a young woman of a Hollywood nature” heading for the presidential suite. He quickly called his editor, who informed him “I was there to report the comings and goings of statesmen, not starlets.”

If that happened now, of course, the only question would be whether Apple could avoid being run over by a crew from TMZ.

Meanwhile, back in South Carolina, Sanford’s continued yammering started to weird out his fellow Republicans. State Sen. John Courson, who had been in the vanguard of the just-show-me-the-money cadre, called Sanford’s crossing the line remark “troubling.”

“I would need further explanation of that from him,” the senator said. Although one would think the last thing Sanford’s career needs is further explanation.

The state party chairman delicately suggested that the governor might want to free up his schedule so he could “devote his efforts full time to repairing the damage in his personal life.” Perhaps with a reconciliation weekend. We could offer some excellent deals on the honeymoon suite at the Plaza.

Gail Collins is a columnist for the New York Times.