Turns out friends are good for your health
Studies show social isolation, depression can contribute to heart disease
Published: Sunday, September 27, 2009 at 3:00 a.m.
Last Modified: Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 7:01 p.m.
In between bingo and a sing-along at the Healdsburg day activity program, Barbara Bird, a self-described “people person,” talked about how friends are good for your health.
“You can tell those people who sit alone inside in front of the boob tube all day,” said the 83-year-old. “I see some of them at the grocery store. They look like people who are beginning to slip away.”
That’s not the case for Bird and her husband, Jack, who moved to Healdsburg from Lake Tahoe six years ago and created a new circle of friends, largely through the Council on Aging program.
The energetic Birds are good examples of what research shows and what Kaiser Permanente Santa Rosa family physician Walter Mills means when he talks of “compelling evidence that individuals who have social relationships live longer and are physically and mentally healthier than more-isolated individuals.”
While few would argue the social benefits of friendship, an increasing number of studies show that a network of friends also help people stay physically healthy, mentally alert and even stave off illness.
Mills likes to cite a study by the University of Michigan that looked at the mortality risks of social isolation to conclude “that the risk of being isolated compares with that of cigarette smoking.” Additionally, a Swedish study of middle-aged men found that friendship minimized the risk of heart attack and fatal coronary disease.
“It turns out the biggest risk factor for having a heart attack may be depression, not just cholesterol and stress,” said Mills.
A Pew Research Center study this summer concluded that strong friendships are as important as health and financial security in making people of all ages happy.
Even the ongoing Harvard research project on happiness — the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has been following 268 male graduates over 72 years — put friendship right up there with diet and kicking tobacco as factors in achieving the good and healthy life. In fact, Harvard research psychiatrist George Vaillant placed it at the top, stating “the only thing that really matters in life are your relationships to other people.”
And that applies to any age.
El Molino High School counselor Doug Pepe said making friends “is part of the human condition. They’re necessary to our growth and getting outside of ourselves. Left to ourselves, we don’t do very well. We become ingrown and narrow-minded and grouchy.”
Mills, who is also associate program director for the Santa Rosa Family Medicine Residency Program, touts the fellowship that develops in support groups where people meet to discuss shared health conditions. Groups give people “a sense of purpose and meaning and make them feel safe,” he said.
For example, he said people in a chronic pain group not only share ways to manage their pain better, they encourage each other “to become more active, return to work, improve their relationships.”
Mills encourages doctors in the residency program to inquire about a person’s social network and activities just as they would their diet and exercise habits. “You want to know if they have someone to call if they need help, or someone they know and like to have dinner with.”
Therapist Bob Butler, who works in the Guerneville clinic of the Russian River Health Center, regularly sees the links between physical health and social connections.
“People with a broader social network seem to feel better physically,” Butler said. “Maybe that is because when you’re alone you over-focus on your physical problems. There’s less ability to be objective, to realize that your problems may not be as large as they seem. When you’re with others, you realize that they are struggling with the same things and you get ideas on how to cope.”
As for mental health, Butler has clients who are isolated because of depression, personality disorders, substance abuse and other issues and who often need a big push to get out and meet people. “Some people are more naturally social and extroverted. Others are not and they’re more at risk when there is depression or illness or stress.”
Butler might direct reluctant clients to a class or activity where they could find people with shared interests or recommend they do volunteer work. “Some people get very panicky when they are alone. A social contact makes people feel more secure, loved, settled and that they matter to someone else.”
Butler thinks today’s computer culture can sometimes foster the loner effect.
“We tend to look to media, the Internet, video games, for our gratification,” instead of interacting with others, said Butler, who personally prefers the old-fashioned front porch style of interaction, he said. “My grandparents in Iowa would sit out on their porch on the main street of town on a summer evening and everyone would call back and forth.”
Still, Butler sees merit in the virtual social networking world of today.
“It is a new kind of social connection. I have a second cousin in law school who is a blogger and a texter. A big part of his social network is online, but he actually knows the people and interacts with them. When he travels around he sleeps on their couches.”
High school counselor Pepe sees the networking technology widely used by young people as “one more tool” in making friends.
Because of cell phones, e-mail and texting, students “have a bigger world,” said Pepe, who considers the technology “a kind of a two-edged sword,” in that it can be both inclusive and isolating.
“Anyone with a cell phone can text and be part of the group. You don’t have to be the athlete or the cheerleader to be out there and making friends. It’s another way of belonging.” At the same, he said, “technology can help a loner be more of a loner. Students who get lost in computers and video games may be less inclined to reach out.”
“I also have a concern about the notion of building community through Facebook as a world unto itself. It’s not like a kid being in a church or being part of family gatherings or having a group of friends. There’s a disconnect.”
Even so, Pepe said, “we all yearn for contact,” and he observes that most kids still seek out face-to-face communication.
“I watch students doing their twittering and texting and Facebook stuff,” Pepe said. “But when lunch hits, they’re looking for each other.”
Susan Swartz is a freelance writer and author based in Sonoma County. Contact her at susan@juicytomatoes.com.
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