This should be Cable's bye-bye week

ALAMEDA

Tom Cable walks into his Monday news conference with a heavy tread. It is the tread of a large man, of someone who drives a big truck and delivers a kegger to the local frat house and, his face awash with sweat, asks the house president, “Where should I set it down, boss?”

Tom Cable currently is the Raiders head coach. A reporter asks, “What is your future?” and Cable says, “Well, I’m coaching the Raiders and I think my future is to be the coach of the Raiders.”

It is an adequate answer as far as it goes, but it does not define the word “future.” How much future does this heavy-footed man have as Raiders coach?

In the football world of win or get fired, Al Davis should fire Cable in the next few minutes. None of this absolves Davis from anything because he is the root cause of the Raiders’ awfulness. But Cable is an accomplice and a very bad coach. His record this season is 2-6 and his overall record is 6-14. Those numbers are firing material. They are the numbers of a man who cannot cope.

Of course, Davis can fire Cable after the season if he prefers. That’s Davis’ business. But it is the suggestion of this columnist that the inevitable firing should come during this bye period. There is a tradition of firing during bye weeks and if Davis brings down the axe he can get a head start on next season.

He could bring in an interim dope for the final eight games — Cable himself started out as an interim dope. And when the season ends, Davis can fire the dope and hire a young, eager, smart college or NFL assistant to be his next head coach (and next former head coach).

Davis is due to hire a young guy because he most recently hired an NFL retread, Cable, and now, one would assume, Davis is in his boyish-coach phase. It doesn’t matter because they all fail in Oakland, young and old alike. But that’s another story.

Several benefits would accrue from firing Cable ASAP. We wouldn’t have to see his sad face anymore or hear him swear the Raiders will be a great team in a week or so: “I have great faith in where we’re going and what we can do as a football team.”

That storyline is so over with. And we wouldn’t have to ask whom Cable slapped, or if he actually did slap anyone, or if he really punches people, or if he has a problem controlling his rage or if he has rage to begin with.

Back to Cable’s depressing presser, and please note some of these quotes are compressed from various moments of the conference.

Q: “What’s your response to having an anger-management issue?”

A: “Well, I released a statement yesterday and I’m going to stand by that statement.” (More on Cable’s all-purpose statement in a moment.)

Q: “Are you open to receiving anger-management counseling?”

A: “Again, I released a statement on this issue yesterday. I’ll stand by it.”

Q: “You said you slapped your first wife and she says hit.”

A: “I’ll let the statement I made yesterday speak for itself.”

Q: “Even though she refuted it.”

A: “Absolutely.”

What’s the first conclusion we can draw from this fascinating exchange? Well, it sure helps to have a statement to hide behind so you don’t actually have to answer tough questions. So, whatever happens to you, remember to get one of those statements.

In Cable’s case the statement says he slapped his former wife with an open hand after he discovered she committed adultery. She says he didn’t slap her. He walloped her with a closed fist and, anyway, she didn’t commit adultery.

Folks, you can’t make up this stuff. It’s so purely Raider.

Another woman says he physically abused her. And yet another former wife said in 2008 that Cable physically abused her. She recently retracted that statement. Maybe that’s because she finally remembered correctly. Or maybe that’s because she’s getting alimony from the big guy and wants him to be employed, as in “meal ticket,” although he won’t be employed very long.

As you know, Randy Hanson says Cable did something or other to him and that resulted in a broken jaw. But Napa County won’t pursue that case.

So there’s stuff going on with Cable. The man has issues. Maybe his problem is choosing to hang around with people who, for some reason, accuse him of hurting them. Or maybe he actually does some hurting. And in fairness to Cable, he didn’t choose to hang around with Hanson. Davis hired Hanson.

One hopes Cable gets a good job after Davis fires him in the upcoming week or immediately after the season. If he needs anger-management counseling, there are any number of good programs in the East Bay.

Oh, one other thing. Near the end of the presser Mike Taylor, the Raiders’ primary public-relations rep, tried to steer reporters away from the line of questioning about Cable hitting people, primarily women. “Do you have a football question?” he asked the assembled room of reporters.

Absolutely. Totally fair. The PR man wants a football question and here is a football question: Year after year and with different coaches and different players and sometimes in rain and sometimes in sun, why do the Raiders always suck?

Now that’s a football question.

For more on the world of sports in general and the Bay Area in particular go to the Cohn Zohn at blog.pressdemocrat.com/cohn. You can reach Staff Columnist Lowell Cohn at lowell.cohn@pressdemocrat.com.