A Comforting Touch
Hospice by the Bay volunteer offers compassion, friendly face to critically ill patients
Judee Curley is a registered nurse who volunteers in hospice care at Bella Vista Village.
Jeff Kan Lee / PDPublished: Sunday, September 26, 2010 at 4:03 a.m.
Last Modified: Sunday, September 26, 2010 at 12:51 p.m.
Judee Curley sees them coming and going.
As a registered nurse, she works in a maternity ward with newborns.
As a hospice volunteer, she spends time with the terminally ill, sometimes witnessing their last moments on Earth.
For Curley, there's a common thread.
"Love is the basis for all of it. There's so much love in the birth of a baby and so much love in the passing of a parent, or a child, anybody," she said.
While working with dying people is daunting, the 55-year-old Sonoma mother of four seems to thrive at the task -- hearing their stories and providing them with a measure of comfort.
"Quite often a conversation is started. I really like to hear about their life experiences," she said.
Since receiving training last year through Hospice by the Bay, Curley has worked with about a dozen patients who have been diagnosed with cancer, congestive heart failure, chronic obstructive lung disease, stroke or dementia.
To take care of herself and be strong for others, she swims, both in the pool and in open water.
She doesn't find the work depressing.
Curley said both her parents died of cancer. And as a veteran nurse, death is not an abstract notion.
"I can handle it. It isn't something foreign to me anymore. Being a nurse for 30 years, I've witnessed death as well," she said.
Curley is one of more than 550 volunteers who give their time to Hospice by the Bay, a nonprofit agency that provides hospice and palliative care for chronically and terminally ill adults in Marin, San Francisco, San Mateo and Sonoma counties.
The agency offers medical treatment, pharmacists, social services, a bereavement counselor and spiritual support.
Founded in 1975, Hospice by the Bay is the country's second oldest hospice, and the oldest in California.
The philosophy is that patients with life-limiting illness should be cared for compassionately, minimizing pain and suffering, "to improve their quality of life, during every precious moment of life."
The volunteers play a critical role.
"I wanted to be involved in my community and reach out to some of these people. A lot are isolated and lonely," Curley said. "No one wants to see somebody die alone."
Hospice officials say being sick is frightening and can exaggerate feelings of loneliness and isolation. Human touch can be especially important.
"Touching says, 'You are not alone, and I am with you,' " Curley said.
Reminiscing over scrap books with the patient, listening to music and poetry are all part of the hospice worker's tool kit.
As a volunteer, Curley said she also has to acknowledge the patient's need for silence.
Curley says there are myths about hospice, such as "you are giving up hope." Some patients rebound, get better and no longer need hospice care.
While Curley usually wears an identification badge, "I don't always tell them I'm from hospice (because) they get scared.
"I just look at myself as a friendly visitor, however long it lasts," she said. Staff members at a convalescent home also can appreciate seeing her.
"I swing by with a smile and 'hello.' I try to make a point of visiting with other patients, too," she said.
You can reach Staff Writer Clark Mason at 521-5214 or clark.mason@pressdemocrat.com.
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