There's barely a wasted moment in Joseph Gordon-Levitt's hilarious and wise "Don Jon." Well, as long as you don't consider a guy obsessively watching porn and doing what follows as "wasted." The title character (Gordon-Levitt) certainly doesn't.
"ALL guys watch porn, every day," he insists to one and all. But as frenetically as he does? "It's not that I can't stop. But why should I?"
Movie trailer: 'Don Juan'
That's fine when you're strutting through the bars with your buds (Rob Brown, Jeremy Luke), bagging and bragging about it. Then Jon, whose pals call him "The Don," meets "a dime." Yeah, Barbara (Scarlett Johansson) is a "10" all right. But this Jersey girl has her eyes on the prize. Not Jon as he is, but Jon as he could be. She teases and tempts and grinds on him and has him enrolling in night school, rounding up his friends to meet her friends and trying to make his parents behave when they meet her.
"You don't think I could make you happy if I wanted to?" she purrs, and he's putty in her hands.
So Jon faces his dilemma -- giving up porn, or lying to Barbara, confessing his sins to the priest every week, doing his Hail Marys and "Lord's Prayer" recital during his reps at the gym and raging at the world from behind the wheel of his 1972 Chevelle.
Here's how tight this tale is: Gordon-Levitt wrote and directed this, and his spare script doesn't squander a single second at Jon's job (he's a bartender, apparently).
His friends' names have to be parsed from a single reference, and we never hear the name of his always-silent, always-texting sister (Brie Larson), a great, deadpan sight gag.
Tony Danza is riotously funny as the sports-obsessed, foul-mouthed rage-aholic dad who lets us see the tree that Jon fell from. Glenne Headly lands lots of laughs as his Catholic, grandchildren-obsessed mother.