Holy fast breaks, loose balls and non-traveling calls, the new NBA season is already nearly a week old. Only eight more months to go.
If you're an NBA fan, you've already done your due diligence in checking out the experts' analyses and predictions, all the various odds and over-unders.
Well, maybe not all the over-unders. Consider the following.
Eleven thousand, four hundred and fifty-nine: That's the over-under on how many times sports media types will use the term “three-peat” in referring to the Miami Heat.
Eight: Over-under on how many sports media types know, without looking it up, that Heat coach Erik Spoelstra could join John Kundla as the only NBA coaches not named Jackson or Auerbach to win three consecutive league championships.
Nine thousand, six hundred and thirty-three: Over-under on how many times New York-area media types will hype the rivalry between the Knicks and the Nets.
Sixteen: Over-under on how many fans of NBA teams not named Knicks or Nets care.
Eight thousand, two hundred and fifteen: Over-under on how many times Los Angeles-area media types will hype the rivalry between the Lakers and Clippers.
Twenty: Over-under on how many fans of NBA teams not named Lakers or Clippers care.
Twenty-three: Over-under on how many times NBA pundits will joke that it's a shame that Charlotte Bobcats owner Michael Jordan can't find a player half as good as Michael Jordan.
One: Over-under on how many defamation lawsuits are filed on behalf of professional sorcerers and necromancers seeking to have the Washington Wizards and Orlando Magic change their names.
Two: Over-under on how many defamation lawsuits are filed on behalf of jazz aficionados seeking to have Utah change its team nickname.
Nineteen: Over-under on how many times a sportscaster will be unable to keep a straight face while saying the words “New Orleans Pelicans.”
Nine hundred and ninety-nine: Over-under on how many times San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich is asked about what Tim Duncan's leadership means to the Spurs. Same over-under on how many times Duncan is asked about what Popovich's leadership means to the team.