Lowell Cohn: Giants' Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain struggling to get into the zone (w/video)

  • San Francisco Giants' Tim Lincecum works against the Arizona Diamondbacks in the first inning of a baseball game Wednesday, April 9, 2014, in San Francisco. (AP Photo/Ben Margot)

Everything would be different this season. The Giants were sold on Lincecum, gave him a solid-gold contract — $35 million for two seasons. It's always nice when a team has confidence in a pitcher. Cain already was working on his own solid-gold contract — six years, $127.5 million through 2017.

That's how to lock up two superstars.

It's just that Lincecum and Cain are again "underperforming" this season, as in stinking out the joint. Imagine that. Forgive me for citing some statistics. Bad statistics can be so inconvenient for the parties concerned.

You know how Lincecum had a losing record last season and a crummy ERA? Funny thing, he has a losing record this season and a crummy ERA, 9.90, which happens to be the worst ERA in the National League for starting pitchers. Well, it was the worst before the start of play on Thursday. It doesn't even read like an ERA. It's more like a stock price.

Pretty much ditto for the Cainer. He has a losing record and his ERA, 5.73, ranked 38th out of 50 in the National League before Thursday's games.

Which means — certainly seems to imply — 2013 was not an aberration for Lincecum or Cain. It's exactly what they do and who they are and what we should expect. An aberration would be if they actually could pitch up to their salaries, if they could win lots of games, if they could keep the freaking ball in the park. Lincecum has given up four home runs in two starts, Cain three. With these two, it's strictly bombs away.

Please don't think for a minute Lincecum and Cain are the exact same pitcher. They are not. They have achieved early misery taking two entirely different routes.

Lincecum, with that complicated delivery containing a million moving parts, can't put the ball where he wants to. Buster Posey calls for the pitch high and inside. Lincecum throws it low and outside. Every pitch for Lincecum is an adventure, so many balls in the dirt. Batters wait on him to throw a strike and, when he throws a strike, they murder him. Bye bye, baby.

Eyeball these stats. This season, 36.4 percent of his fly balls are home runs. That's get-him-out-of-the-rotation awfulness. He has given up line drives more than 34 percent of the time batters make contact on him. That means they are killing his pitches.

Bad formula for Timmy.

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