Grant Cohn: Jim Harbaugh and his world of contradictions

  • San Francisco 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh answers a question from the media during the NFC coaches breakfast at the annual NFL football meetings at the Arizona Biltmore, Wednesday, March 20, 2013, in Phoenix. (AP Photo/Ross D. Franklin)

SANTA CLARA – Here's how you play The Jim Harbaugh Game:

Listen to his next interview. Write down the exact time he sets himself up for future contradiction. Then, predict how long it will take for the contradiction to occur – a year, a month, a day, an hour, a minute, etc.

Harbaugh most recently set himself up on June 11. One Bay Area reporter asked Harbaugh if the division rival Seattle Seahawks' recent PED suspensions concerned him, and Harbaugh said he's "definitely noticed it," and wants the 49ers to be "above reproach."

Thirty-eight days later, the 49ers' traded for cornerback Eric Wright, whom the NFL suspended last season for four games because he violated the league's performance enhancing drug policy. He also was arrested for a DUI the weekend before the 49ers traded for him. He failed his physical and the 49ers voided the trade.

So, if you had 38 days in your Jim Harbaugh Game office pool, congratulations, you win a set of steak knives.

Other examples abound of Harbaugh contradicting himself.

The 49ers have yet to discipline Ahmad Brooks for bashing teammate Lamar Divens in the head three times with a glass bottle. Above reproach, indeed.

Harbaugh insisted Alex Smith was the 49ers' starting quarterback even when Smith sat on the bench watching Kaepernick start. That was Harbaugh contradicting himself and reality, an impressive head-body combo.

Harbaugh always talks about "humble hearts." Please. Humble is not the word to describe Harbaugh. His sideline etiquette is the opposite of humble. It is arrogant. He rants and raves at officials like a child throwing a tantrum because his parents took away his Schwinn Racer.

And what about his prot?? Colin Kaepernick? Kaepernick kisses his bicep after touchdowns. He showed up to a Fourth of July party shirtless wearing a green-billed Miami Dolphins hat to match his exposed green underwear, then scoffed at 49ers fans who didn't appreciate the symbolism of his wearing of another NFL team's logo. Then he posed nude for ESPN the Magazine. Then he went to the ESPY awards looking like a detective from Miami Vice: red blazer, light blue pants, unbuttoned undershirt and sunglasses indoors at night. But his heart was humble.

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