Dick Cheney and Mike Enzi are in a tiff over whether they're fishing buddies or not.
Enzi, the conservative senator from Wyoming who's trying to fend off a carpetbagger challenge from Liz Cheney, is lucky he wasn't hunting buddies with the trigger-happy former vice president.
Then he might not be in the race at all.
One of the best things about the 2008 race was ushering out the incalculably destructive Dick Cheney. Except now, in 2013, he's once more ominously omnipresent. Even blessed with the gift of a stranger's heart, and looking so much healthier, he's still the same nasty bully.
He's trying to bully Enzi in an attempt to help his daughter — who has never held elected office — muscle her way into the Senate by knocking off the popular three-term incumbent Republican.
Showing that bullying runs in the family, Lynne Cheney told old friend and former Republican Wyoming Sen. Alan Simpson to "shut up" in an exchange tied to the contentious campaign, in which Simpson is supporting Enzi.
This is one dynasty we want to duck.
Dick Cheney is hawking a book he has written with his cardiologist, Dr. Jonathan Reiner, about his heart transplant at the age of 71. Calling it "a spiritual experience," he told ABC News' George Stephanopoulos: "I wake up every morning literally with a smile on my face, grateful for another day I never thought I'd see."
Yet even in this blissed-out state, he still can't emulate the respectful restraint of his former partner, George W. Bush. He grabs every opportunity to snarl at President Barack Obama, who is still mopping up from the Bush-Cheney misrule, as does his mini-me.
"Obstructing President Obama's policies and his agenda isn't actually obstruction; it's patriotism," Liz said.
Dick Cheney's chutzpah extends to charging the Obama administration with "incompetence" in the Middle East and saying that the president has done "enormous damage" to America's standing around the world.
When Bill O'Reilly asked Cheney on Fox News what "we get out of" the Iraq war, given that "we spent $1 trillion on this with a lot of pain and suffering on the American military," Cheney repeated his delusion about Saddam's WMD — the imaginary ones — falling into the hands of terrorists: "We eliminated Iraq as a potential source of that."
And, of course, he disdains Obamacare, telling Rush Limbaugh that it's "devastating" — begrudging less well-off and well-connected Americans the lifesaving and costly health care he got on us when he was in the White House.
In his "60 Minutes" interview with Dick Cheney, Dr. Sanjay Gupta made it clear that Cheney had gotten special treatment to ascend to the vice presidency, given that he'd already had three heart attacks, the first one at 37. As Gupta noted, the Bush campaign was concerned enough to check with the famed Texas heart surgeon Denton Cooley, who talked to Reiner and then informed the Bush team — with no examination — that Cheney was in "good health with normal cardiac function."
"The normal cardiac function wasn't true," Gupta said to Cheney.
"I'm not responsible for that," replied the man who never takes responsibility for any of his dark deeds. "I don't know what took place between the doctors."
Four months after being cleared, Cheney suffered his fourth heart attack during the 2000 recount and had to get a stent put in to open a clogged artery.