I've changed my mind on something. I want you to know that.
I'm peering at this year's Hall of Fame ballot from the Baseball Writers' Association of America, of which I am a member. About a week remains before I have to fax in my ballot, but I'm working out a moral issue here and now, and this involves changing my mind.
In years past, I never considered whether a player used performance-enhancing drugs when I voted. I voted merely on performance and career statistics. I felt, with some justification, I am not a court of law and have no right to ban people. I also felt, and this was my key argument, many players who took PEDs, who cheated, never got caught, so it's unfair to penalize the few who did get caught by denying them entrance to the Hall.
I acted on that position on several ballots but I always felt bad about what I did. It felt like I was condoning cheating, at the very least looking the other way. It never is good to feel bad.
During the last few months, I played a mental game with myself. I imagined how my conscience would feel if I voted "no" on a known PED user. My conscience felt great. I began to walk around conflict-free. It was good to look in the mirror and tell myself I was back to being a sincere, ethical, well-meaning voter as opposed to a moral weakling who would let things slide.
This means I won't be voting for Mark McGwire this year, although I voted for him previously. I like McGwire and I wish him well in life. I just won't vote for him. He admitted using PEDs and that disqualifies him on my ballot. I feel good writing that. I feel good not voting for him.
I won't vote for Rafael Palmeiro, who's on the ballot for the first time. He was caught cheating dead to rights. He lied to Congress when he said he never used PEDs "period." A friend of mine told me, "Maybe he meant to say semi-colon."
I compare PED users to murderers — of course, it's not the same thing. But please follow my reasoning. Lots of murderers never get caught. Yet society has no trouble punishing murders who get arrested and convicted. It's not like a defense lawyer walks into court and says, "Thousands of murderers get away with their crimes, so you should let my client, who wiped out an entire family, go free in the interest of fair play."
That would be absurd. It also is absurd to let McGwire or Palmeiro into the Hall just because we don't have the goods on somebody else. We have the goods on McGwire and Palmeiro.
Hall of Fame voters will be facing many moral dilemmas in the next few years. The current bunch of potential Hall of Famers was filled with drug cheaters, people who artificially inflated their numbers with performance-drug help, people who put pressure on all other ballplayers to cheat. Some of them we'll never know about. The ones we know about we must punish with exclusion from Hall of Fame.