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<b>1. Detroit Lions: Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia</b>

If he wins one game in 2009, he?ll be a candidate for rookie of the year.

<b>2. St. Louis Rams: Jason Smith, T, Baylor</b>

Rams also signed C Jason Brown, but let Philly get to T Jason Peter first.

<b>3. Kansas City Chiefs: Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest</b>

In his mock draft, JaMarcus Russell had Curry going anywhere but AFC West.

<b>4. Seattle Seahawks: Mark Sanchez, QB, USC</b>

It could be Seattle making this pick, or it could be a team trading up.

<b>5. Cleveland Browns: Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech</b>

Raiders? legal team immediately files piracy suit.

<b>6. Cincinnati Bengals: Eugene Monroe, T, Virginia</b>

Monroe celebrates joining Bengals by rushing out to commit misdemeanor.

<b>7. RAIDERS: Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri</b>

Al Davis figures Maclin can outdo Johnnie Lee Higgins? 22 catches.

<b>8. Jacksonville Jaguars: B.J. Raji, DT, Boston College</b>

Raji insists B.J. has always stood for Boo-yah! Jacksonville!

<b>9. Green Bay Packers: Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU</b>

It just got a bit harder for Adrian Peterson to get around the corner.

<b>10. 49ERS: Andre Smith, T, Alabama</b>

He gets thumbs-up from two most important men in organization: Maiocco and Bill Walsh?s ghost.

<b>11. Buffalo Bills: Brian Orakpo, DE, Oklahoma</b>

Edge rusher will have solid role models in Terrell Owens, Marshawn Lynch.

<b>12. Denver Broncos: Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State</b>

Coach Josh McDaniel immediately and clumsily pursues trade options.

<b>13. Washington Redskins: Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn State</b>

Stunting along D-line will be hard unless Albert Haynesworth removes wallet.

<b>14. New Orleans Saints: Chris Wells, RB, Georgia</b>

Beanie and Bush?s exploits lead club owner Tom Benson to invent new dance.

<b>15. Houston Texans: Brian Cushing, LB, USC</b>

Thus begins a run on ?SC linebackers that ends with Chip Banks? son in Round 7.

<b>16. San Diego Chargers: Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi</b>

Because Jamal Williams can?t do it all by himself.

<b>17. New York Jets: Everette Brown, OLB/DE, Florida State</b>

He can?t wait to test Tom Brady?s knee.

<b>18. Denver Broncos: Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC</b>

Like Randy Gradishar with fabulous hair.

<b>19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State</b>

Raheem Morris? first step toward patching up the Bucs? defense.

<b>20. Detroit Lions: James Laurinitis, ILB, Ohio State</b>

Michigan fans will forgive his college allegiance ? if he makes 170 tackles.

<b>21. Philadelphia Eagles: Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia</b>

Shortage of duct tape and crazy glue makes it harder to get Brian Westbrook onto field each week.

<b>22. Minnesota Vikings: Michael Oher, T, Mississippi</b>

First prospect to be evaluated not on scouting report, but on index from ?Blind Side.?

<b>23. New England Patriots: Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State</b>

The one position at which the Patriots have not drafted well.

<b>24. Atlanta Falcons: Clay Matthews, OLB, USC</b>

Only 13 years since his dad played here; locker with mom?s photo still available.

<b>25. Miami Dolphins: Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland</b>

About 20 yards too fast for Chad Pennington?s deep throws.

<b>26. Baltimore Ravens: Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers</b>

Ravens? most acrobatic receiver since Joe Flacco vs. Raiders last year.

<b>27. Indianapolis Colts: Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina</b>

All he has to do as a rookie is fill Marvin Harrison?s shoes.

<b>28. Buffalo Bills: Eben Britton, OT, Arizona</b>

He?s all that stands between Langston Walker starting at LT for Bills.

<b>29. New York Giants: Percy Harvin, WR, Florida</b>

Giants decide a receiver with a loaded bong is better than a one with a loaded gun.

<b>30. Tennessee Titans: Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois</b>

It?s almost guaranteed he will not adopt the nickname Pacman in Nashville.

<b>31. Arizona Cardinals: Donald Brown, RB, Connecticut</b>

Smart and productive, and won?t have to deal with the abrasive Todd Haley.

<b>32. Pittsburgh Steelers: Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee</b>

The way these guys draft, he?ll probably be the next L.C. Greenwood.