Shirlee Zane had plenty enough material to have spoken at her departed husband's funeral Sunday only about his humor, parlor-game and ping pong mastery, taste for adventure, intellectual curiosity and love of his children and grandkids.

But the Sonoma County supervisor paused amid describing Peter Kingston and her family's sorrow at having lost him. She took a breath and said, "I want to say something about that loss that needs to be said."

"We need to learn to talk about suicide," Zane told the great crowd in the Jackson Theater at Sonoma Country Day School. "We cannot be ashamed of the pain in our lives."

She could have glossed over the depression her husband struggled with recently but she chose to bring it into the light. By encouraging the rest of us to reach out to someone in great pain, or to seek someone's help if the pain is our own, her tribute to Peter's life just may save others.