SMITH: She met her dad through his obituary

You may recall the front-page story my PD colleague Jeremy Hay wrote about a quiet, diminished man who lived in the shadows and died the day after he stepped into the path of a car as he crossed College Avenue before dawn on Oct. 15.

Santa Rosa native Monique Duval-Von Merta read the story in Tucson, Ariz., with her heart in her throat. The alcohol-ravaged homeless man was the father she'd never met but had looked for, and imagined.

Monique, 32, came back to Sonoma County on a couple of occasions and volunteered at shelters in order to watch for and inquire about Joseph Von Merta.

"It seemed he didn't want to be found," she said.

She was still an infant in Santa Rosa when her parents divorced and her mother won custody of her and her older brother. Growing up with her mom and her grandmother, Monique knew very little about her father.

I ASKED HER what she might have said to him had she found him.

"I would probably have said, 'I love you, you're my father. I always wondered what you are like. I wish I would have had you in my life.'

"I probably would have asked him why he left," she said. The mother of two daughters added, "I wanted to tell him he has grandkids."

News of the death of 57-year-old Joseph Von Merta's was especially harsh to Monique because her mother also died this year. "It was a bit of a double whammy," she said.

But quite a bit of good has come, too, since Hay's story told what some of had become of Joseph Von Merta.

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