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BROOKS: Can a kick in the pants change behavior?

Nick Crews was, by his own admission, a middling father. He enjoyed cuddling with his three kids, but he was frequently away on naval deployments and didn't stay in touch with them once they went off to boarding school.

Over the years, Crews has watched his children (the oldest is 40) make a series of terrible decisions.

"I bought into the fashionable philosophy of not interfering; letting the children find themselves," he told Cristina Odone of the Telegraph of London.

Finally, in February, Crews decided he'd had enough. He sent his offspring an email message, which is now known in Britain as the Crews Missile.

"Dear All Three," he wrote. "With last evening's crop of whinges and tidings of more rotten news for which you seem to treat your mother like a cess-pit, I feel it is time to come off my perch.

"It is obvious that none of you has the faintest notion of the bitter disappointment each of you has in your own way dished out to us. We are seeing the miserable death throes of the fourth of your collective marriages at the same time we see the advent of a fifth."

Crews continued: "I wonder if you realise how we feel — we have nothing to say which reflects any credit on you or us. Fulfilling careers based on your educations would have helped — but as yet none of you is what I would confidently term properly self-supporting."

Then he turned to his grandchildren.

"So we witness the introduction to this life of six beautiful children — soon to be seven — none of whose parents have had the maturity and sound judgment to make a reasonable fist at making essential threshold decisions. .<TH>.<TH>.

"The predictable result has been a decade of deep unhappiness over the fates of our grandchildren. If it wasn't for them, Mum and I would not be too concerned, as each of you consciously, and with eyes wide open, crashes from one cock-up to the next. It makes us weak that so many of these events are copulation-driven, and then helplessly to see these lovely little people being woefully let down by you, their parents."


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