"The good pants?" Harbaugh said.
"Yeah, the ones in the ad when you're barbecuing and stuff. Are those those pants?"
I was shocked. I empathized with poor Sarah.
"How many pairs of those do you have, the good pants?" I asked.
"Ah, quite a few, quite a few new ones." Harbaugh's voice was bursting with pride.
"You ought to wear them down here some time. Snap up the image."
"Huh?" Harbaugh said.
"Snap up the image."
"I still kind of like the loose-fitting," he said as he slid a hand inside his belt and pushed out the waist. He smiled, a man dooming himself to the old Dad look.
So, here's what I want to know. Can the marriage survive the pants?
Now to serious matters. Call it the Matter of Vernon Davis who is boycotting minicamp, a required team activity. On Tuesday, Harbaugh had said he was disappointed in Davis' decision to stay away. Harbaugh said that's not the 49ers' way.
Several reporters addressed Davis again on Wednesday. "You said you were disappointed and I'd like to know what the nature of the disappointment is," I asked. "And if he stays away, I'm talking about Vernon, can it hurt the team?"
Harbaugh was thoughtful. "I was disappointed in the decision not to come to the minicamp," he said. "Didn't call anybody out. There was no call out."
"I didn't say you called him out."
"I didn't say you did. Some people did, though. I thought that was ridiculous. The second point is we're going to keep the focus on what is going on here. Who is here and the players we're coaching, that's where the focus is going to be."
When a reporter asked if Harbaugh, as a former player, understands how players feel about contracts, Harbaugh said, "The three, four, five follow-up questions, it gets to be badgering. It gets old. I covered it thoroughly yesterday; I don't think there's anything more to say."
The badgering remark was — what? — cute. Harbaugh could have wiped out the three of us by breathing hard. It may have felt like badgering to him. And here's the funny thing.
I agree with Harbaugh. What Davis is doing is not the 49ers' way. Well, that may be overstating it. But Davis is not acting appropriately. Right guard Alex Boone, also a holdout, is not acting appropriately. But I am not writing about Boone. Davis is more important.
Here's my problem with Davis. In my world, a contract is a contract. Contracts are binding. Both sides agree to them. In 2010, Davis signed a six-year, $42 million contract which made him the highest-paid tight end in the NFL. Despite his current unhappiness with his deal, he still is the third-highest-paid tight end. And his contract has two years to run. Come on.
Could he make more on the open market? Probably.
Is he underpaid based on his value to the Niners? Probably.
He should have understood this in 2010. Or his agent should have. It is not the 49ers' fault his contract no longer appeals to him. And it is not the 49ers' problem.
The 49ers have made Davis a wealthy man, wealthy beyond our wildest imaginings. Now, he wants to be even wealthier. Sorry, Vernon, no tears for you.