Straight talk: Cutting, burning, self-harm a cry for help

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I read in Straight Talk about siblings afraid to tell on each other regarding serious issues — and you always say tell. Well, I wish my 13-year-old sister would tell. I'm depressed and cutting but too ashamed to tell our mom. My sister sees me nude, so she must see the cut marks. Maybe it's because we made a pact when we were younger to never tell on each other. Or because my ex-boyfriend and friends were mean to her and we aren't close anymore. How do I get her to see that I want her to tell? — Nadine, 15, Woodland

Lyra, 18, Sonoma: No matter what's happened, I'm certain your sister loves you very much. Ask her to help you.

Maddie, 15, Cotati: When I learned my best friend was cutting herself, it shocked me out of my bubble and made me aware of how common it is. Your sister probably thinks you'll be mad if she tells. Don't wait! Go to your mom, your sister or a friend and tell them you need help. (Oh, and find friends who aren't mean to your sister.)

Brandon, 23, Mapleton, Maine: Why put so much weight on your younger sister's shoulders? With cutting so common, involving children as young as 8, and with younger siblings imitating older siblings, it's best to keep it under wraps around her and go to your parents yourself. If you just cannot, please reach out to someone. No matter how bleak a situation, there is always someone to help you. You just have to ask.

Alira, 16, Novato: I've been there. Even though we hide it, we truly want someone to find out and help us. In sixth grade, I hit a breaking point around the sadness and toll of not having a father. Then came bullying, even by my best friend, which tore me apart. With nobody to turn to, I just sobbed and cut and wanted to die. Things gradually got better, but upon entering high school, friend drama, school stress and my mom being gone a lot made me feel alone and sad again. I began cutting again and burning myself until my mom found out, which ended in a fighting, crying night in the ER because she was convinced I was suicidal. Self-harm was how I took my anger out — at myself and everyone. After a while you don't feel the pain, it's just numb. But it definitely becomes addicting and you think you need it to feel better or even sleep. Quitting took time, tears, therapists, support and motivation. Your sister telling on you isn't happening, so make the problem obvious to your mom.

Breele, 20, Dana Point: Write your mom a letter. Take your life back!

DEAR NADINE: Today I'm saying tell on yourself. Make sure to tell directly, either in-person (from you or someone else), or through a letter. If you hint or 'accidentally' show the wounds, your parents likely won't get it. Parents: Be calm, educate yourself, get your child to a therapist skilled in self-harm. One in 5 girls and 1 in 7 boys self-injure as a negative coping tool for anxiety, depression, bereavement, sexual abuse, eating disorders, substance abuse, autism, personality and other mental disorders. The habit is drug-like and addicting and can be socially triggered (imitated). With fear of telling parents, many get 'support' from appalling pro self-injury Web sites — another reason to stick with non-computer phones and keep computers out of bedrooms. Look for constant long sleeves, abruptly not wearing shorts or bathing suits, any knives, blades, etc. Self-harming individuals are not typically suicidal, but can be. Self-Harm Hotline: 1-800-DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288) or Text 'LISTEN' to 741-741. — Lauren

Ask a question or go deeper in today's conversation at StraightTalkAdvice.org — or write PO Box 1974 Sebastopol 95473.