Straight Talk: Schools need “immunization” from stereotyping

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: I'm sick of the cruel stereotyping these days. It's especially bad for openly gay teens. My girlfriend and I are assumed to have sex constantly when, in fact, we don't even have sex. I don't hear any cruel comments about promiscuity directed at straight couples. I also get cruel comments in the locker room and at slumber parties that I'm interested in other girls' bodies, which is totally untrue. The handful of Muslim kids at my school also are stereotyped and bullied for supporting terrorism when they're just normal teenagers. Why can't this unfair judgment stop? — M.C., 16, Lodi

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Meghan, 20, College Station, Penn.: Teens want any excuse to talk about sex. Read some history and issues facing the LGBTQ community; it's fascinating and will provide perspective. Then, anonymously or not, inform your school of the bullying and ask for programs that teach inclusion.

Icis, 16, Detroit: Stereotyping is an epidemic. All crime could cease and the world could be harmonious but for negative judgment. I applaud your courage to be openly gay. At my predominantly African-American institute, the few Muslim youths hide for fear of being bullied or associated with negativity. In such situations, I make myself heard.

Karlee, 17, Bentleyville, Penn.: I knew my best friend was gay before she came out, so it didn't change anything. But at a Christian camp (ironically), kids were not only horrible to her but also to me. We had known these kids for eight years. Suddenly, the girls didn't want her sleeping in our cabin or sharing the bathroom. Homophobic people have this ego that assumes every gay is attracted to them. For defending her, I got called dyke, lesbo, scissor-sister, etc. After a week of harassment, I sat the girls down and talked about how they were making themselves look and, more importantly, what they were doing to her. She had become suicidal and tried to have sex with guys so she wouldn't be gay. I watched this bright, charismatic girl fade into an isolated loner. Afterward, they became friendlier, or at least civil. Sometimes it just takes conversation to overcome ignorance, which is where fear and hatred reside.

Kat, 19, Eugene, Ore.: In high school, I attended 'Inclusion Camp.' It opened my eyes to everyday bigotry and how we become desensitized. The more you speak up, the stronger you become and the more people respect you.

Samantha, 23, Toledo, Ohio: I've been in three car accidents, sustaining two traumatic brain injuries. My complications are moderate, yet I've been called 'retarded' by those uncomfortable with my disability. Be yourself. The 'different' often overcome great obstacles and achieve great things. Only the Lord can judge, so tell bullies, 'I'll pray for you.' Weed out negative people and surround yourself with those who love you for YOU.

Justin, 17, Pleasanton: I know this guy who mocked musicians and artists because he was into sports. Now, he plays guitar and is into theater. People become more open-minded with age. It does get better.

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DEAR M.C.: Society has been lax on 'immunizing' our schools against the human propensity to hate what is different — and for some victims to imitate widely-publicized methods of revenge. Evidence-based, ongoing student-empowered programs exist that end epidemic bullying and isolation, creating school-wide emotional wellness. The hugely-effective 'Safe School Ambassadors' through community-matters.org has healed over 1,500 schools from the inside out. Insist that your school carry this program. — Lauren

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