Eight important things to bring to a tax aid clinic

Fans of humorist and author Bill Bryson are still laughing about an essay he wrote back in the late 1990s titled “Your Tax Form Explained.”

With tax time approaching once again, a little levity might be appreciated, so here’s a sample:

“To compute your estimated tax, add lines 27 through 964, deduct lines 45a and 699f from Schedule 2F (if greater or less than 2.2% of average alternative minimum estimated tax for the last five years), multiply by the number of RPMs your car registers when stuck on ice, and add 2.

“If line 997 is smaller than line 998, start again. In the space marked ‘Tax Due’, write a very large figure.”

If you’ve been paying taxes a long, long time, and that’s the way income tax forms still make you feel, help is on the way. Santa Rosa’s Council on Aging is offering free “Tax Aid” clinics, sponsored by the American Association of Retired Persons. One-hour appointments are available March 13, March 27 and April 10. To schedule a session, call the Council on Aging at 525-0143, ext. 140.

Here’s some of what you need to bring to make the most of your hour:

1. Social security cards or other official documentation of yourself and all your dependents. Social security numbers for all dependents.

2. A copy of last year’s tax returns.

3. W-2 forms from each employer.

4. Unemployment compensation statements.

5. All 1099 forms showing payment of Social Security benefits, interest, dividends, pensions or annuities, plus documentation showing original purchase price of your sold assets.

6. All forms indicating federal income tax paid.

7. Child care provider information: name, employer ID, Social Security number.

8. Receipts or canceled checks, if itemizing deductions.

OK, so that’s not exactly simple, but it’s a lot better than Bryson’s version. He’d have you computing your net worth in maritime tons. (“Failure to do so may result in a fine of $111,000,000 and a nuclear attack on a small, neutral country.”)

But some of his advice is pretty practical: “Do not write ‘Search me’ in any blank spaces.”