Straight Talk: ‘50 Shades’ of Sick

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: My women friends, many of whom are mothers, rave about “50 Shades of Grey.” I found the film appalling. Sexual wounds affect people for life and this generation is already very wounded around love and sex. The movie tells boys that being controlling and abusive is cool and girls that letting a rich, emotionally detached guy sexually abuse you will have a fairy-tale ending. I’m disturbed that the book and movie are breaking worldwide sales records. What is the appeal? Are young people buying it? - M. in San Francisco

Colin, 21, Sacramento: I don’t buy it. The story romanticizes horrible abuse and the BDSM (bondage-discipline, dominant-submissive, sadomasochistic) community considers it a slanderous misrepresentation of true kink. Strip away the sex and it’s about wealth and power.

Karlee, 17, Bentleyville, Pa .: I work at the theater and cannot describe the hoards of middle-aged woman hoping to fulfill their rich-boy fantasies. Christian Grey, aw, what a good guy. He wants Anastasia to eat and buys her nice things so it’s okay to stalk, isolate, beat and rape her. Yes, rape. If Christian wasn’t rich, this would be a “Law & Order SVU” episode. Unfortunately, Grey’s own childhood molestation is brushed off without explaining how sexual abuse screws people up (at any age). People think “50 Shades” is a guide to BDSM when really an misogynistic author stooped to make a bestseller by making rape sexy and knows nothing about BDSM.

Molly, 23, Oakland: Honestly, the plot is rape. I know several people in the kink community. BDSM is all about explicit consent, enthusiastic trust and communication. It’s seriously scary that people think the abuse portrayed in this movie is sexy.

Lisa, 22, Eugene, Ore.: Oh, “50 Shades”, how I love to hate you. Christian is a typical romance-novel male: super hot, young but manly, and insanely rich. For all the slender blondes he could have, he chooses average Anastasia. And, despite his 50 shades of abuse, he is 100 percent faithful. He worships her. Indeed, many of Christian’s abusive elements are romance taken too far. While he is emotionally incontinent (hardly attractive), I give him this: In an era when men are constantly distracted, non-committal and goalless, Christian knows what he wants and goes after it. Today, pornography and sexually saturated media have many men feeling entitled to women and women feeling increasingly insecure about their appeal, even within committed relationships. Meanwhile, single women are frustrated with men choosing pornography over real intimacy. A singly-devoted rich, attractive man? If that’s not a fantasy, nothing is.

Justin, 17, Pleasanton: I never will watch or read “50 Shades of Grey.” If image and pleasure were less glorified, this generation would have fewer problems. MTV has a show, “16 and Pregnant.” Really? I hate how sex is popularized and shoved in teen s’ faces. It’s losing its value and sacredness.

Samantha, 23, Toledo, Ohio: This book sprang from “Twilight,” where passive, ordinary girl gets chosen and controlled by sexy, rich guy. From the deaths of my dad and brother and my car accidents, I have “daddy issues.” They’re common today. My counselor said fear of making decisions drew me to boys who dictated, sometimes with force, who I could see, what I could wear, etc. Now, as an activist for female independence, I support the roles of breadwinner and homemaker, with each role equally respected and honored, but I abhor glamorization of male-female dominance. Don’t be afraid to voice what’s wrong with “50 Shades of Grey.”

DEAR M .: Critical commentary and “thumbs down” from the panel. I’m right there with them. How chilling that sex even sells abuse. Parents: Teens are relying on your good judgment. Please look before you leap, or backpedal your way out, and boycott this sick money-making trend in entertainment. - Lauren

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