s
s
Sections
We don't just cover the North Bay. We live here.
Did You Know? In the first 10 days of the North Bay fire, nearly 1.5 million people used their mobile devices to visit our sites.
Already a subscriber?
iPhone
Wow! You read a lot!
Reading enhances confidence, empathy, decision-making, and overall life satisfaction. Keep it up! Subscribe.
Already a subscriber?
iPhone
Oops, you're out of free articles.
Until next month, you can always look over someone's shoulder at the coffee shop.
Already a subscriber?
iPhone
We don't just cover the North Bay. We live here.
Did You Know? In the first 10 days of the North Bay fire, we posted 390 stories about the fire. And they were shared nearly 137,000 times.
Already a subscriber?
iPhone
Supporting the community that supports us.
Obviously you value quality local journalism. Thank you.
Already a subscriber?
iPhone
Oops, you're out of free articles.
We miss you already! (Subscriptions start at just 99 cents.)
Already a subscriber?
iPhone

DEAR STRAIGHT TALK: My 16-year-old daughter has gone through puberty but remains almost completely flat-chested.

She gets made fun of and has never dated, believing this to be the reason. (However, her equally flat-chested friend dates, so it’s not the entire problem.)

She begs for breast enhancement surgery, saying if I really cared about her I’d do it.

However, I worry she’s not fully developed. Plus, it’s very expensive.

I also agree with your recent column that early bloomers often have negative sexual experiences, but I cannot convince her she’s better off without one.

— Joan, 41, Toledo, Ohio

Moriah, 18, Rutland, Vermont: As a “DD” who’s never been in a relationship, boobs are not the problem. Friends who’ve undergone body alterations either became depressed when it didn’t “work,” or when it did, they figured the guy was attracted to the false addition, not them.

Real confidence boosters: counseling, changing friends, radical haircut.

Brie, 23, London, England: I was made fun of for my “mosquito bites.” But, working lingerie, many customers said their boob jobs were way bigger than they wanted. They could only wear ugly boring lingerie.

One customer’s implants began leaking.

Essential: She be over 18, not doing it for male attention and have a good surgeon. There are too many complications. I may get one, but only after I’ve had children as it can prevent breastfeeding.

Kat, 19, Eugene, Ore.: Being made fun of at 16 hurts. With the right help toward self-love she can learn from this and bloom into a confident person. Encourage other interests so she thinks beyond her body.

Brandon, 23, Mapleton, Maine: Not to sound like a douchebag, but I notice large perky breasts. Most guys do.

A boob job won’t just attract losers. That revealed (ahem) — don’t do it. Teenage relationships mostly end in heartbreak anyway, or worst-case, teen pregnancy.

Give your daughter a few years. So many plain classmates blossomed into beautiful adults.

Plus, who’ll pay the upkeep in her twenties? Can you add a $10K silicone bill to her $50K tuition?

Let her pay for it when she’s done growing.

Justin, 18, Brentwood : Your daughter shouldn’t get breast enhancements ever. Breast size isn’t the issue. Most teens today find genuine romance by first becoming friends and building off that.

She should put aside sexuality and focus on building a relationship. Good guys don’t look for the perfect body, then pursue that woman.

They seek out personality and love what their woman has.

Colin, 21, Sacramento: I used to think sexism had died out following a dark past. Wrong. It’s systemic.

The fashion industry is particularly misogynistic. Very rich people are glad your daughter is insecure and work hard to make her spend money on it.

Samantha, 23, Toledo, Ohio: Today’s media are guilty. All I wanted at 16 was to lose 5 pounds, increase a cup size, put more streaks in my hair, etc.

Breast size constantly changes. I went from a B cup to now, pregnant, an E!

It’s normal that she’s not dating yet. With fake breasts, she’ll worry that guys like “them” not her.

Molly, 22, Oakland: Many friends didn’t fully develop until after high school. Get a properly-fitted bra (see reddit.com/r/abrathatfits), which benefits even small busts. Consider therapy for bullying and self-esteem issues, which surgery won’t solve.

DEAR JOAN: Your steadfast refusal is the enhancement. I hope the panel convinced you, regardless of whether you convince her.

Everyone’s point, including Moriah’s about this being a “lose-lose” is true. Females with breast implants are at triple-risk for suicide and drug/alcohol dependency compared to those without.

Spend instead on therapy, yoga, identity-enhancing enrichments and, not ignoring her vanity needs, flattering clothes and haircut.

“The Science of Sexy” stylebook teaches how to sculpt with clothing.

—Lauren

Ask a question at www.StraightTalkAdvice.org or PO Box 1974 Sebastopol, CA 95473. We are a youth-helping-youth nonprofit.

Show Comment