Dear Abby: Teen tells parents to 'shut up'

Parent baffled when daughter says to shut up

Dear Abby: I thought I was a pretty good parent, but I am stumped when it comes to my 13-year-old daughter. The latest point of contention is that she has gotten into the habit of telling her father and me to “shut up.” She does it when we are playing with each other.

In spite of the fact that I have corrected her and told her it is disrespectful and unacceptable, she insists there is nothing wrong with it. She says that it's just a hang-up that I have and other parents wouldn't care.

I don't care if other parents would allow it or not. She has earned consequences for it, and yet turns right around and implies that my scolding her basically earned my being told to shut up. I can't believe her lack of logic when arguing her point. She's really baffled as to why it is an inappropriate thing to say, and I'm baffled at her obstinance. - Baffled in Texas

Dear Baffled: Explain to your daughter that there are some things teens can say to each other that are inappropriate when said to their parents. (“Shut up!” can be used to express amazement or surprise at hearing something without being meant as disrespectful.) That said, if this expression your daughter uses offends you, she should have enough respect for you that she refrains from using it at home.

Write Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles 90069 or www.DearAbby.com.