Dear Abby: Woman's free babysitting is her choice, not fiance's

A stay-at-home mom doesn't mind taking care of her friend's child - but her fiance does.|

Dear Abby: I am a stay-at-home mom with three children. Recently, another mom asked me to care for her 3-year-old daughter while she went to work. She offered to pay me, but I declined, given her circumstances, because I consider her a friend, even though I have known her for only a short time.

My fiance is now mad at me for not charging her. How can I make him see that it is not a problem for me since I am stuck at home anyway? It's not like I am losing money by doing her a favor.

- Stuck at Home in Colorado

Dear Stuck: That it's not a problem for you isn't the point. It's a problem for your fiance. He may not want the family's hard-earned money going toward feeding someone else's child. But ultimately, the decision about whether to do this favor for your friend should be yours, and not his.

___

Dear Abby: My wife and I recently moved, taking jobs that are closer to our son and daughter-in-law. They have no children but want to start a family, and we are praying for our first grandchild.

When they take business trips (which is often), I take care of their cats and dogs. A few days ago, while I was in their bedroom (where the cats are kept), I saw an anatomically correct sex toy that had been left on the bed stand. I'm no prude, but should I say something to my son? We have an excellent relationship. I'm concerned that he may need some fatherly advice if they are having conception problems. What do you think?

- Concerned in Washington

Dear Concerned: In the interest of family harmony, keep your advice to yourself unless you are asked. If they are having “conception problems,” rest assured they will find their way to a fertility expert without your assistance.

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