Dear Abby: New mom tired of unsolicited advice

Dear Abby: I recently had a baby. Two of my friends became mothers five and nine months ago. We are all first-time stay-at-home moms, which has been great except they offer unwanted advice every time I see them and try to come off like they're experts. I agree that they sometimes offer helpful advice, but it's getting old because I'm becoming confident in my parenting skills and judgment. How do I politely let them know that if I want advice, I'll ask for it?

— Unwanted Advice in Tennessee

Dear Tennessee: Do it by first acknowledging them for being such good friends and wanting to be helpful. Then add that you are now more confident with your own parenting skills and would prefer they wait to be asked before offering any more unsolicited advice.

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Dear Abby: I will be having surgery soon to alleviate the embarrassing symptoms of bowel incontinence. I have a great doctor and family support. When nosy people ask why I am going to the hospital, I want to say, 'None of your business,' or 'Be glad you don't have this problem.' Neither response seems appropriate. Any suggestions?

— Shy in the South

Dear Shy: A certain amount of curiosity is normal. If someone asks why you are going to the hospital, all you need to say is, 'I'm having a procedure.' However, if the person is insensitive and pushes you to be more specific, your response should be, 'It's personal.' Period.