Dear Abby: Straying husband wants another chance

After leaving his wife of 33 years, a husband's call to reconcile leaves her confused.|

Dear Abby: My husband left me for another woman four months ago. We had been married for 33 years, and my world has been ripped apart.

Now he says he wants to try to reconcile, and it has me feeling extremely confused. While I still love him, I know our relationship will never be the same as before. Will I look like a fool to everyone if I let him come home?

— Heartbroken in Pennsylvania

Dear Heartbroken: How you look to 'everyone' is far less important than how you feel. You are correct that if you reconcile, your relationship will never be the same. But has it occurred to you that it might be better?

Husbands stray for all kinds of reasons. Before you make any final decisions about taking him back, insist on counseling so you can understand exactly what they were. That's how broken marriages are repaired.

___

Dear Abby: I had friendships with both of my second cousins, 'Tom' and 'Jane,' a brother and sister in their 60s. They have long been estranged from each other. Tom was estranged from his parents as well. Jane was their parents' caregiver.

Jane called me to say their father was near death and thought I would want to know. Then she said, 'I'm not telling Tom, and I'm asking you to do the same.' I told her it was an awkward request because I am friendly with him, too.

Well, I chose to tell him. Tom called his mother and it went well, after years of no communication. Jane has now cut me out of her life. Was I wrong to tell her brother?

— Mike in Mexico

Dear Mike: Yes, I think it was wrong to have gone against the wishes of the daughter who had assumed the responsibility of caring for her aged parents. It's fortunate that the conversation went well, because it might not have.

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