Dear Abby: Man's concern for mom bothers girlfriend

Dear Abby: I have been dating a guy, 'Dustin,' for 10 years. We lived together for two years and broke up, but then we got back together. Dustin lives with his mother and always has, except for two marriages that lasted eight years each.

I don't understand why he always goes home to his mother. When he stays the night with me, he has to go 'check on her' the next morning. He stays at her house Monday, Wednesday and Friday. The rest of the time he's here with me, but before he goes to work, he has to go check on her.

Abby, there is nothing wrong with her. She drives, gardens, cooks and is very much on the go. Can you help me understand this?

— Coming in Second in Texas

Dear Coming In Second: I'll try. Dustin may feel the need to stop by to see if his mother is well, to change clothes before heading to work, or because he has always done it, and old habits die hard. He may also like the way his mom fixes breakfast.

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Dear Abby: I'm a 28-year-old man who works hard at a full-time job and no longer lives with his parents. I've always been fairly independent and able to support myself without any problems.

When an unexpected expenditure came up, my family offered to help me pay for it and sent money. After debating it with myself for a few days, I accepted it. How can I reconcile taking their gracious gift when my independent nature was telling me not to? I don't want to come off as a mooch.

— Out on My Own in Philly

Dear Out: Here's how: Remind yourself why you decided to accept the money, and realize that if your parents had considered you to be a 'mooch,' they wouldn't have VOLUNTEERED to give it to you.