Dear Abby: Unplugged family member left out

Dear Abby: I have a problem with my family that's driving me crazy. They are Facebook snobs. I prefer not to join Facebook for personal reasons, and because I haven't, they don't keep me up to date regarding special events such as births, family picnics, etc. They each expect the other ones to notify me, and no matter how often I ask, they'll say, 'Oh, 'So-and-So' was supposed to let you know.' It's not like I am estranged from any of them; it's just that they keep insisting I should join Facebook, and I'm tired of hearing it. Advice?

— No Social Media For Me

Dear No Social Media: There are other ways to communicate online than Facebook. Are you on the internet at all? If you are, you could be notified of events through group email, group chat or group texting. I don't think it's fair to expect your relatives to make a special effort to keep you in the loop.

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Dear Abby: When my wife was 17 (she's now 54), she was in a car accident. She and her three friends were high and drunk. She suffered two skull fractures, which have affected her memory. She thinks it's my job to remind her of things and becomes angry to the point of hitting things when I don't do it. I feel her schedule is her responsibility. But when I tell her that, she claims I am not being 'supportive.'

— Unsure in the South

Dear Unsure: In successful marriages, the division of labor is usually 'each according to his ability, each according to his need.' Your wife's schedule should be her responsibility, and if your wife were irresponsible, I'd agree with you. However, because she suffered a traumatic brain injury, she may be UNABLE to be as organized as you are and NEED your help. That said, 'hitting things' when she becomes frustrated is not appropriate, and she needs to find a less threatening and destructive way of venting.