Dear Abby: Talk of remarriage triggers questions about burial plots

Dear Abby: My brother-in-law 'Charles' has earned the privilege of being buried in a military cemetery. He lost his wife, 'Claire,' to cancer 10 years ago; she is buried in their plot in the military cemetery with a headstone. Their children are all adults now.

Charles has been seriously dating a divorcee, 'Joyce,' and they are talking about marriage. Joyce feels that for him to be committed to her in marriage, they should have a plot together. It's our understanding that only one wife is allowed to be buried in the military cemetery. This would mean Claire would have to be exhumed and transferred to another one.

I'm not sure how close Joyce is to her family, but she does have grown children. I suggested they get an outside opinion and a prenuptial agreement before they get married, which both would be agreeable to. What have others done in similar situations?

— Concerned in New Hampshire

Dear Concerned: There are different types of military cemeteries in this country, 135 of which are maintained by the Department of Veterans Affairs National Cemetery Administration. (None of them is located in your state.) However, there are many state and private military cemeteries nationwide, and their rules may differ from those of the national. Because you didn't mention which category your brother-in-law's cemetery falls under, the best advice I can offer is to contact it and find out what its rules are in circumstances like this.