Readers share how the fires changed them forever

A year after October's wildfires, our readers are troubled, humbled, grateful, vigilant When we asked readers to tell us how their lives had changed since that historic conflagration one year ago, their thoughtful, articulate and often emotional responses came flooding in.

There is more to a home than just a house, and there is more to community than the route you drive to work, or the stack of mailboxes at the end of a lane. Nothing has made those homely truths more evident than the wildfires that ravaged Sonoma County last October.

When we asked readers to tell us how their lives had changed since that historic conflagration, their thoughtful, articulate and often emotional responses came flooding in. They ranged from laments over prized mementos and family photos lost forever and friends forced to move away, to frustration over the tough battle to recover, to determination to see the community come back stronger than before.

In a series of heartfelt haiku inspired by the fires, poet Myrna Graves Fleckles of Santa Rosa captured feelings felt by many, not just those who lost homes but their friends and neighbors as well, as shown in this excerpt:

“Address is the same

But not opportunities

Change challenges us.

Our environment

Is compromised in small ways.

We slowly adjust.”

In The Press Democrat’s newsroom, as we pored through the letters and messages, several themes began to emerge.

Some respondents became energized after the ash settled, and set out to make changes based on personal safety or the greater good.

Many told us they had lost interest in material possessions, and developed a more spiritual outlook on life. Others were knocked back so hard economically and emotionally that recovery is hard to envision, even a year later.

Force For Good

My high school students ... teach me to remain hopeful and focused on what really matters. - Bridgette Mansell, a teacher at Maria Carrillo High School and mayor of Healdsburg

“One out of nine students at Maria Carrillo High School lost their homes last October. When we returned from our three-week break (after the fires), our classroom discussions deepened and we felt much more connected,” wrote Bridgette Mansell, a teacher at the school and mayor of Healdsburg.

“I am more committed to youth,” she added. “The fires affected how I see my role on the city council ... The fires gave me a renewed commitment to creating affordable housing in Healdsburg and Sonoma County. My high school students ... teach me to remain hopeful and focused on what really matters.”

Artist Sandy Austin Stein of Santa Rosa found inspiration in tragedy and discovered that it influenced a work already in progress.

“Although our house stood tall and weathered the storm, I - as an artist - felt helpless, as the stories emerged and people everywhere in Sonoma County were affected. A cloud of sadness emerged in a city known for joy,” Stein wrote.

Artist Sandy Austin Stein holds the painting she made entitled, 'Madonna of the Flames,' in Santa Rosa, California, on Tuesday, September 25, 2018. (Alvin Jornada / The Press Democrat)
Artist Sandy Austin Stein holds the painting she made entitled, 'Madonna of the Flames,' in Santa Rosa, California, on Tuesday, September 25, 2018. (Alvin Jornada / The Press Democrat)
Healing comes from art and so I promptly began ‘The Madonna’ series, based on a mother’s sensitivity to crisis. - Artist Sandy Austin Stein of Santa Rosa

“I returned to painting my mother and child image. The flames became her background as she saved her child, her precious gift. The title came to me: ‘Madonna of the Flames.’ Healing comes from art and so I promptly began ‘The Madonna’ series, based on a mother’s sensitivity to crisis.”

Laura Bacon of Santa Rosa, a phone company technician who worked to restore service after the fire, came away with a philosophical observation.

“All we can do as human beings is help one another,” she wrote. “We can keep one another in our thoughts and hope that fellow humans can find some stability and peace in their lives.”

Phone company technician Laura Bacon holds a bunch of usually bendable copper wire that fused together in a inflexible state. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
Phone company technician Laura Bacon holds a bunch of usually bendable copper wire that fused together in a inflexible state. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
All we can do as human beings is help one another. - Laura Bacon of Santa Rosa

Lynn Morin, who narrowly escaped with her husband before the flames consumed their Santa Rosa home, and survived several close calls before finding shelter, reported a renewed gratitude for basic safety and small comforts.

“We are so grateful to be alive, to live here, and to survive with such a strong community, and it has changed our entire outlook on life,” she wrote.

Lynn Morin and David Gurley escaped their home with their two dogs. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
Lynn Morin and David Gurley escaped their home with their two dogs. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
We are so grateful to be alive, to live here, and to survive with such a strong community. -Lynn Morin, who narrowly escaped with her husband before the flames consumed their Santa Rosa home

“Life is sweet and beautiful, moment by moment. It is the mind that will tell you otherwise, but life is real, and thoughts are untrue and unreliable. That is what I learned from the fire.”

Anniversary Coverage

Read all of the PD's fire anniversary coverage

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New Vigilance

After evacuating her Rincon Valley home for 10 days, Marti Hoeft felt a surreal sense of detachment when she returned.

“I recall walking around my property,” she wrote.

“Then reality kicked in and I put myself in ‘survivor mode’ - this is now. I know I will be in this mode for the rest of my life. My mantra is I am being prepared; I am not being paranoid. I have an emergency backpack by my door ...”

Claudia Zbinden of Santa Rosa had spent several happy and productive days working on her property and cleaning it up for the winter, just before the Tubbs fire struck, not knowing what was to come.

Claudia Zbinden salvaged a lag screw from her burned over wood bridge that crossed over a creek to her home burned by the Tubbs fire, last October. (Kent Porter / The Press Democrat) 2018
Claudia Zbinden salvaged a lag screw from her burned over wood bridge that crossed over a creek to her home burned by the Tubbs fire, last October. (Kent Porter / The Press Democrat) 2018
I don’t miss any of the material things, but I miss the mice ... (and) the birds, especially the birds: the grosbeaks, the mountain chickadees, the waka-waka of the acorn woodpecker tribes. -Claudia Zbinden

“On the night of Oct. 8, I lost everything except my cat, my car and my computer. I don’t miss any of the material things, but I miss the mice ... (and) the birds, especially the birds: the grosbeaks, the mountain chickadees, the waka-waka of the acorn woodpecker tribes,” she wrote.

Zbinden is now in the long, slow process of rebuilding, and she has some very specific fire-prevention changes and emergency precautions in mind.

“Our new house will not have propane or a fireplace,” she said. “We will have a battery-run generator for back-up, and little or no vegetation around our house for at least 50 feet. Our new bridge across Mark West Creek is steel, and there will be water tanks for storage and preservation where there weren’t before.”

Ongoing Struggle

While it’s inspiring that many fire survivors in the past year have found the strength to be positive and even philosophical in the wake of the disaster, others expressed ongoing difficulty coping with losses that have been devastating both economically and emotionally.

“I lost my home on Parker Court in Hidden Valley Estates. Now I am living in Roseland in an overpriced old townhouse infested with bats in the ceilings and walls,” wrote Jack Pond of Santa Rosa.

“I am rebuilding my house on the same lot, but the uncertainty of finances from insurance and other funds leaves doubt that I can even afford the finished product,” he continued.

Jack Pond could only find an expensive townhouse in Roseland infested with bats after his home burned in the October 2017 wildfires. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
Jack Pond could only find an expensive townhouse in Roseland infested with bats after his home burned in the October 2017 wildfires. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
I am 72 years old, retired, and wonder if I ever will enjoy life the way I did before the fire. - Jack Pond

“I am 72 years old, retired, and wonder if I ever will enjoy life the way I did before the fire.”

Like many others who lost their homes to the fires, Mary Coover of Santa Rosa has found life since then difficult, especially the rebuilding process.

“It’s been hell. Anyone who tells you differently is either lying or didn’t lose their home. The majority of our friends have moved away,” she wrote.

Mary and Don Coover at their home in Santa Rosa, California on Thursday, January 17, 2013. (BETH SCHLANKER/ The Press Democrat)
Mary and Don Coover at their home in Santa Rosa, California on Thursday, January 17, 2013. (BETH SCHLANKER/ The Press Democrat)
In another year, we hope to be back in a home and out of an apartment. Maybe then we will look back ... without tears in our eyes. - Mary Coover of Santa Rosa

“In another year, we hope to be back in a home and out of an apartment. Maybe then we will look back ... without tears in our eyes.”

Heather Furnas and her husband, Paco Canales, both doctors, who lost their Skyfarm home in the fire, escaped with two suitcases, two laptops and one car.

“We had much more than many. Right now we live in limbo as we complete our battle with our homeowners insurance company,” she wrote.

“I lost paintings and drawings I’d created since I was in high school. My favorites were framed on my walls ... Now they are gone forever.”

Spiritual Outlook

Nancy Martin was forced to evacuate her Kenwood neighborhood on little notice. For her the short-term terror of fleeing the flames has given way to a long-term perspective and appreciation for having survived.

“It was a miracle. I laughed and cried and cried and cried,” she wrote.

“Almost one year has passed. After staying with kindly friends and then living in a hotel, experiencing months of intense survivor’s guilt since then, things are finally settling down a bit.

“Of course, almost everything has changed. Things that seemed very important before hardly matter to me now.”

Bob Klamt, whose Coffey Park home in Santa Rosa was destroyed by the fire, summarized what he has learned from the experience in this way: “Perspective on life - more appreciative of the community, of people in general, upwelling from acts of kindness, more willing to listen and understand other folks’ feelings, a need to help.”

Fire survivor Bob Klamt, who lost his home and art collection in the Tubbs Fire, holds a signed and numbered Maynard Reece print that was given to him by a friend in order to begin a new collection of artwork, in Santa Rosa, California, on Tuesday, September 25, 2018. (Alvin Jornada / The Press Democrat)
Fire survivor Bob Klamt, who lost his home and art collection in the Tubbs Fire, holds a signed and numbered Maynard Reece print that was given to him by a friend in order to begin a new collection of artwork, in Santa Rosa, California, on Tuesday, September 25, 2018. (Alvin Jornada / The Press Democrat)
Perspective on life - more appreciative of the community, of people in general. - Bob Klamt, whose Coffey Park home in Santa Rosa was destroyed

For Jean Winter, whose Fountaingrove home was destroyed, her abiding emotion is gratitude for community support.

“So many friends, family and strangers reached out to us and helped us rebuild our lives,” she wrote. “We can never repay their kindness.”

For many, the lessons learned and emotions felt one year after the fires are mixed, but perhaps Lois Nagle of Santa Rosa summed it all up as well as anyone.

Lois Nagle with a pumpkin she saved from her garden. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
Lois Nagle with a pumpkin she saved from her garden. (photo by John Burgess/The Press Democrat)
There are no words of condolence to those who lost their homes. - Lois Nagle of Santa Rosa

“There are no words of condolence to those who lost their homes,” she wrote.

“The definition of home is different for everyone. Life prepares us to lose loved ones, but not our homes. My grateful barometer is off the charts - grateful every day for the contents of my home, the house, the property and the neighborhood. I have a new appreciation for first responders. I miss all the trees.”

You can reach staff writer Dan Taylor at 707-521-5243 or dan.taylor@pressdemocrat.com. On Twitter @danarts. Staff Writer Peg Melnik contributed to this story.

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