Dear Abby: Second pregnancy is too much for family to support

Dear Abby: My niece (age 25), despite numerous warnings against getting pregnant, deliberately did three years ago. This was a result of an affair.

My niece ended up in the hospital and had to have some serious surgeries. She lost her job and moved in with my sister and her husband. She's working again, but she and her daughter still live with my sister because she doesn't earn enough to support them (and gets no help from the father). She has recently announced that she's pregnant again by this same man!

My sister says she feels compelled to support my niece because she is concerned about her grandchild(ren). How do the rest of us “opt out,” without seeming mean or judgmental? HELP, please!

- Auntie No More

Dear Auntie: Unless you and the rest of the family want to support your niece and all the children she may have, draw the line. Tell your sister that “the family” will chip in ONE MORE TIME, but the money must be used so she and her daughter can consult a lawyer about how to compel the deadbeat dad to assume his responsibilities toward his children.

Dear Abby: I started dating my next-door neighbor two years ago. We have known each other for 17 years. We hit it off, and after about a month he was spending every night with me. He's 72 and retired; I'm 55 and work full time. We have a great relationship, but I feel he is stalling about marrying me.

In the beginning, he said if we were together after one year we would talk about selling one or both of our houses and having just one. It hasn't happened.

I think after two years he should know whether he wants to marry me or not. I love him, and he says he isn't putting me off, he just wishes I could be “patient.” I think it's stupid to have two houses when he stays with me every night. Do you think I'm wasting my time with him?

- Ready For Change in South Carolina

Dear Ready: Whether you are wasting your time remains to be seen. After two years I don't think you are being “impatient” to want a commitment. That's why you both need to have a serious discussion.