A baby shower? Desir?Barnas doesn't see herself as the sort of woman who'd be invited to such a mainstream social event, certainly not as the guest of honor.
Through most of her 40 years, Barnas has done without many of the connections and trappings of traditional American family life. At age 12 she went into foster care in Vallejo. For months now, she and her effervescent daughter, Alessia "Mimi" Garcia, who's nearly 12, have lived at a Santa Rosa homeless shelter.
A plain-talking and grateful woman, Barnas said a lifelong difficulty with reading and comprehension has limited her employment options - her best job was doing maintenance and repair work at a retirement complex in Orange County. Her learning disability also impairs her ability to understand how many aspects of increasingly computerized life work.
A case in point is the on-line baby-gift registry at Target that staffers at The Rose women's shelter established for her prior to the baby shower they put on for her Saturday at the shelter. "That's something that's a little bit over my head," Barnas said.
She accepts that she hasn't had and may not ever have the type of family and work and friends that many mothers have.
"I'll never be married," she said, without pity or regret. Contributing to the conclusion that she'll always be on her own have been occasions in which she trusted or relied on others and came to wish she hadn't.
By and large, her daughter is her family and, certainly, her greatest source of pride. Nearly a year ago, Barnas decided that since Alessia is such a good kid, she wanted to have a second.
Nodding toward Alessia, she said, "This is my biggest success."
Though Barnas has struggled all her life with the learning disability, her beaming strawberry-blonde daughter is a high-grades student, voracious reader and budding violinist. This particular day, Alessia carried with her a hefty Harry Potter book.
Her mom recalled that when Alessia was a toddler, "the only thing I could read to her were A-B-C books."
Motherly pride brightened Barnas' face as she gazed at the girl. "I've learned a lot from this one," she said.
After she decided she wanted to have a second child before she grows too old, a man she knows agreed to father a child. The baby, a boy, is due in July.
Though aspects of Barnas' life and pregnancy and prospects are disturbing, they provide a glimpse into a reality borne out in the recent census that found the number of homeless parents and children in Sonoma County is on the rise.
The count, taken in January, documented 190 homeless families with children, up from 165 such families in 2009. The number of people in those homeless families totaled 567, an increase of 16 percent over 2009.
At The Living Room, a day center for women and children in central Santa Rosa, director Kendra McKenna said it is not unusual for homeless woman to become pregnant.
"Homeless or not, we still need comfort and we still need relationship and we still need connection," McKenna said.
As for a woman's decision to become pregnant despite having no home and no immediate prospects for becoming employed and self-supporting, she said, "What seems logical or illogical to me may not seem illogical to someone in a completely different life circumstance."
"Who am I to say that someone else's choices are good or bad?" McKenna said, then added, "They have to live with the consequences of those choices."
Barnas is open about the fact that she doesn't know how she might support the new baby and Alessia.
"I have no idea. Honestly I have no idea," she said.
She said her former job as an apartment-house maintenance worker allowed her to pay for an apartment for herself and her daughter until the rent rose out of reach. She said she wants to work and she'd like to have another go at schooling for a trade or certificate, but tough obstacles have held her up.
It's hurt her for much of the 21th Century job application process to be conducted on-line because it's impersonal and Barnas has difficulty using a computer.
"It used to be my personality would sell me" to a prospective employer, she said.
Living at The Rose, a shelter for women and children operated by the Redwood Gospel Mission, allows Barnas to save money for a move to an apartment or transitional housing. But she's only made a start at a savings account.
She said she receives about $600 a month in child support from Alessia's father, who lives several hours away with his wife and a stepson and visits Alessia regularly. But that, Barnas said, is her entire income.
She said she believes her learning disability would qualify her for Supplemental Security Income but she needs help with the complex application process.
She said she does receive Medi-Cal benefits and she expects them to pay for her delivery by Caesarian section at Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital in mid-July.
It came as a shock to her when the women who manage The Rose told her they'd like to put on a baby shower for her - the first ever at the shelter.
Sandra Kates, the house manager, said Barnas doesn't have and can't afford clothing, diapers and other essentials, so the staff and volunteers of Redwood Gospel Mission thought to hold a baby shower for her. The women who plotted the party at The Rose also welcomed an opportunity to encourage and celebrate future big-sister Alessia.
"She's such a sweety," Kates said.
The shower made for a special occasion at the Santa Rosa home that serves as The Rose. Flowers, balloons and a banner enlivened the living room. Barnas blushed at the attention, and she choked up while reading the well-wishes in the cards. She and Alessia enjoyed the dinner, cake, games and baby-boy gifts.
Barnas said she knows she'll have a lot to work out as a homeless and unemployed single mother of two. But right now, "I'm just really excited about my baby."
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