Angie Hernandez says her son cries in anguish when he sees her and begs her for help.
So Hernandez traveled 225 miles from the town of Kerman, west of Fresno, to Santa Rosa Junior College on Wednesday to try to find a way to guide her 44-year-old son through a debilitating battle with bipolar disorder and suicidal thoughts.
"When I see him, he starts crying, saying &‘I shouldn't be living,'" she said, eyes welling with tears. "He wants help."
Hernandez and 200 others packed into the college's Newman Auditorium on Wednesday to hear Kevin Hines, 30, speak of the day nearly 12 years ago when, wracked with depression and in the throes of a bipolar episode, he vaulted over the railing of the Golden Gate Bridge and plunged more than 200 feet in a suicide attempt.
Hines said his story of survival is a cautionary tale to others living with mental illness to manage their symptoms and speak out about their pain.
"It makes you stronger when you talk about it," he said.
He spoke at SRJC's fifth annual Mental Health Networking Event.
About 1,500 people are known to have committed suicide by jumping from the Golden Gate since it opened in 1937. Most bodies are never found and only about 24 jumpers are thought to have survived.
In March 2011, 17-year-old Luhe "Otter" Vilagomez, a student at Windsor High School, leaped from the bridge during a school field trip and survived.
Thirty-seven people killed themselves by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge in 2011, according to the Bridge Rail Foundation - a group pushing for the addition of a suicide barrier on the span.
Hines said he would not have jumped had one person stopped to ask him why he was crying or to ask if he was OK that fateful day.
"Just think about saying, &‘Hey kid, you OK? Is something wrong? Can I help you?'" he said.
Hines's $3,200 speaker fee was paid for by SRJC and Sonoma County Behavioral Health Division.
Hernandez, who plans to attend a suicide prevention training at SRJC on Friday, said her quest to help her troubled son was reinforced after hearing Hines speak about living silently through his pain.
"I'm going to be more persistent with him," Hernandez said.
Staff Writer Kerry Benefield writes an education blog at extracredit.blogs.pressdemocrat.com. She can be reached at 526-8671 or kerry.benefield@pressdemocrat.com.
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