Bryan Stow brings anti-bullying message to Santa Rosa students

With the help of a cane, Bryan Stow walked across the gym floor Friday morning at Herbert Slater Middle School in Santa Rosa, his careful but brisk steps inspiring an explosion of cheers and applause from hundreds of students.

For Stow, 47, the standing ovation reminded him that his mind remains whole even as he continues to struggle with the lifelong disabilities he received during a brutal attack that left him near-dead with severe brain damage outside Dodger Stadium in 2011.

And it tells him that his ?anti-bullying message is being heard.

“It makes me feel good, it makes me feel whole,” the former paramedic said Friday after giving a presentation at the middle school with his sister, Erin Collins.

Stow’s visit is part of a campaign he and his family have been waging against youth bullying and fan violence, which they said is essentially “adult bullying.” For Stow, a former paramedic who worked in the Bay Area, the school visits are his way of continuing to help people.

“I can still work and save lives,” he told the students.

During the presentation, which included photographs and video footage of his four-year recovery in five different hospitals, Stow and Collins sat at a folding table placed in front of an overhead screen. Stow spoke slowly but clearly into a microphone, mixing humor with a sober message that challenged people to stand up for victims of bullying. He talked about the 21½ pills he takes every day, seven days a week, that make his skin turn red and peel and are behind his weight gain; the platoon of caregivers and physical therapists who assist him daily; the deep surgical scars that look like furrows on his head; and the cloudy, slow memory that is a lifelong testament to his brain damage.

“Think of me the next time you see someone who needs a little bit of help and encouragement,” he said, encouraging the students to intervene when they see someone being picked on.

On March 31, 2011, following the opening day game at Dodger Stadium, Stow was attacked and nearly killed in the stadium parking lot by two men, Louie Sanchez and Marvin Norwood. During their sentencing hearing in Los Angeles, Superior Court Judge George Lomeli angrily told Norwood and Sanchez, “You are the biggest nightmare for people who attend public events,” according to an Associated Press account of the hearing.

At Friday’s presentation, Stow showed a slide with three photos, two showing his attackers in blue county jail overalls with a picture of him fighting for his life in the hospital.

Another slide stated that bullying causes 4,400 young people to commit suicide annually and 160,000 kids to stay home from school on any given day.

In another slide, Stow showed photos of nearly a dozen American youth who had taken their lives after being bullied. Some of the students in the assembly gasped.

“Oh, my God! Rest in peace, guys,” said Julissa Fragoso, 13.

Fragoso later explained that she knew a girl in the second grade who “committed suicide” because she was constantly being bullied.

“A lot of people would go to her home and call her mean names,” said Fragoso, who added that she has also been the victim of bullying. “It feels horrible.”

But Fragoso admitted that she has also been a bully. “Actually, I have bullied people just to get my anger out,” she said. “Bullying is one of the outcomes of bullying.”

Thirty percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, according to Stow’s presentation. Slater Principal Shellie Cunningham said it’s common for kids who have been bullied to turn around and bully others. The school, she said, takes numerous steps to discourage bullying and create a culture of reporting such incidents.

She said a good deal of bullying happens online via social media platforms such as Snapchat, which is viewable for a maximum of 10 seconds.

“But kids can take screenshots so then we have proof,” Cunningham said. “We try to give the kids the tools to take care of themselves and stand up for others and then report it.”

Stow and his family launched the school visits last year, completing 41 visits to mostly elementary, middle and high schools. During this school year, Stow has visited about 15 schools and is currently booked through April.

By telling his story he hopes people, both youth and adults, will be kinder and more respectful toward each other.

The visits, which are free of charge to the school, are paid for by donations to the Bryan Stow Foundation. Stow’s mother, Ann Stow, said the campaign has energized her son and the rest of the family.

“He loves this and wants so badly to make a difference,” she said. “And I really get a lot out of this when I’m doing this with him.”

For more information about the Bryan Stow Foundation, visit bryanstowfoundation.org.