Santa Rosa High program takes aim at rape culture

The “yes means yes” culture has arrived at Santa Rosa High School.

Students are getting a crash course in rape, rape culture and what consent means in a student-led program in which nearly every youth in school will participate.

“We’re not your parents giving you the sex talk,” said senior Carter Lindstrom, putting his approximately 40 subjects at ease Thursday.

“We know rape and sexual assault may not be something you think about every day, but it is something that happens every day,” said senior Kira Findling.

Findling and fellow senior Lindsay Bribiescas saw a similar classroom presentation two years ago and wanted to create a school-wide program on the issues, which they say every student faces either on campus or in the community. They recruited Lindstrom and Sawyer Croft to provide the male perspective.

Consent has become a hot-button issue on campus, where youthful risk-taking, experimentation, alcohol and other factors muddy the waters of consent. College officials and politicians throughout the nation have grappled over how to reduce sexual violence on campus.

In California last year, Gov. Jerry Brown signed a new law mandating universities that receive public funds require students to get “affirmative, conscious and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity” - a practice that’s been dubbed “yes means yes.”

While not related to that edict, the concept is similar to what the Santa Rosa High student leaders are teaching.

“Consent is sexy,” Lindstrom said. “Consent is necessary. Rape is not sexy. A trial is not sex, and going to jail is not sexy.”

The program, which was reviewed by counselors, teachers and the principal, will reach every English class in the school of approximately 2,000 kids. Parents were asked to provide permission for their child to participate and only four opted out, counselor Seth Geffner said.

Lindstrom, who plays rugby at Elsie Allen but says he also has a “distinct feminine side,” reminded students that sexual violence can happen to anyone, male or female.

To demonstrate part of what they described as a pervasive “rape culture,” the students showed an advertisement that suggests “if she says no,” using a men’s body spray will change her mind. Another depicted a man as feminine if he wasn’t pursuing sex with a female friend.

Rape culture is an environment that normalizes, excuses and condones those attitudes, Findling said.

Often society blames rape victims, the student leaders said, instead of the perpetrators.

“It says, ‘don’t get raped’ instead of ‘don’t rape,’?” she said.

Defining consent can help reduce or prevent sexual violence, Croft said. One student described it as an “enthusiastic and willing” agreement. Cajoling someone until they say yes isn’t true consent, they said, but manipulation.

The student leaders also encouraged their classmates to look out for one another, use the buddy system at parties, support victims and to be courageous enough to step in when they see potential trouble.

They displayed statistics that show 93 percent of juvenile sexual assault victims know their assailants and 90 percent of teen rapes involve alcohol.

“If you see a shady situation at a party, don’t just step back and let it happen,” Croft said. “Do something. Find that person a safe place, a ride home or create a distraction.”

You can reach Lori A. Carter at 521-5470 or lori.carter@pressdemocrat.com. On Twitter @loriacarter.