Loved ones honor those who have passed at Healdsburg rose garden

Standing on her toes, Marguerite Treat tied a small note around a persimmon tree Sunday that joined hundreds of others fluttering in the cool afternoon breeze in the garden of the Russian River Rose Co. in Healdsburg. The message was for her mother, Buffy Treat, who died six years ago at the age of 92.

“My mother loved this place,” said Treat, who paid a visit to the garden for its annual “Tea and Memories in the Rose Garden.”

She noted in her message how much she missed her mother, who before she died used to leave similar notes on the Memorial Wishing Tree for her mother.

Visitors Saturday and Sunday - the event continues today - left messages for grandparents, fathers, mothers, aunts and uncles. They also dedicated notes to soldiers.

One note read: “Peace and healing for all vets and those struck by illness.” Another read, “I miss you dad, and I love you.”

“The sentiments are beautiful,” said Jan Tolmasoff, 70, who along with her husband, Michael, own Russian River Rose Co.

They started the event eight years ago to allow visitors to quietly remember and honor loved ones who have died. Visitors also get to watch Michael Tolmasoff demonstrate how to make rose water.

“It’s a different way of experiencing a memorial holiday,” she said. “Not a lot of bands and fanfare, but people feeling and contemplating. People get to come, have a nice cup of tea and then wander through the garden and hang a message on the tree - it could be a memory of someone or wish for the world.”

The idea initially came from her daughter, Tanya, who saw similar notes hanging from a giant oak tree in a small town in England while she was studying abroad.

Jan Tolmasoff said she wanted to create something similar in her garden as a way to honor her late parents and grandmother, who helped launch her garden about 30 years ago.

“She’s the one who gave me the $100 starter money,” Tolmasoff said of her grandmother. “I used the money and bought 15 roses.”

Wendy Smith, 66, of Santa Rosa, wanted to honor her mother, who died in March. With the help of her 35-year-old son, Jordan Smith, they tied up the message onto a tree branch using foil ribbon.

“She use to tell these fascinating stories. I wrote in my tag ‘I miss your fascinating stories,’?” she said.

She and her son couldn’t think of a better place to honor her. Smith said her mother loved roses, especially yellow ones.

“We thought what a good way to remember her … in a unique way,” said Jordan Smith, who also lives in Santa Rosa.

“Not a sad way,” his mother added.

Tolmasoff said she leaves the notes on the tree for a month. After that, she collects them and buries them in the ground, where she said they’ll eventually break down and help nourish the tree.

“As they turn into mulch, all thoughts and memories and wishes become part of the tree,” she said.

You can reach Staff Writer Eloísa Ruano González at 707-521-5458 or eloisa.gonzalez@pressdemocrat.com.