A year later, Sonoma County set to commemorate October firestorm

Chris Marr Bertozzi vividly recalls standing near the summit of Hood Mountain the afternoon of Oct. 8, 2017, marveling at the sweeping panoramas of Sonoma Valley.

Bertozzi and her daughter, Marlo, chronicled that carefree day by “taking goofy selfies and having a blast together,” Bertozzi recalled.

But it's hard for her to forget the gusts of wind that raced that day through the trees near Gunsight Rock. It was those fierce winds, hours later, that would drive a wall of flames from Calistoga into Santa Rosa and send volleys of fire back and forth across Sonoma Valley. Overnight, thousands of homes were destroyed across the North Bay and 40 lives were lost in Sonoma, Napa and Mendocino counties.

Among the demolished homes was the Fountaingrove house that Bertozzi, and Marlo, 20, had moved into just two months before the fires. The pair escaped, but their cats, Magic and Delaney, were killed in the fire. Also lost: the home on Rocky Point Way where Bertozzi and her then-husband raised their two daughters.

“It's funny - what got me through the whole fire was that I kept saying ‘We are healthy, we are loved, we are OK. We're going to survive. It's not like we have cancer,'” Bertozzi, 52, said.

And then this June, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She's had a lumpectomy and is undergoing treatment.

It's been a year of life-altering tumult, but the bond with her daughter has helped her endure. She plans to commemorate the anniversary of the blazes with Marlo by returning to the fire-scarred Gunsight Rock on Oct. 7.

“The thing that's really special to me is the relationship with my daughter through this all,” said Bertozzi, a fourth-grade teacher at James Monroe Elementary in Santa Rosa. “This whole journey of when we were evacuated and when we were allowed in and we didn't want to visit the site with anyone else around … That's what's stuck with me, the two of us together.”

The unprecedented disaster that transformed Sonoma County and neighboring areas last October has left an uneven landscape of loss and recovery, exacting the deepest toll on those whose loved ones died in the fires. Behind them are the thousands who saw their homes and businesses incinerated, their lives uprooted and livelihoods left in question.

The approaching one-year anniversary of the fires carries a widely divergent and unique significance to all affected by the tragic events of last October. For some, the catastrophe is so deeply painful, its meaning cannot be fully articulated or marked. For many, the anniversary will be a time to pause and remember in private.

For still others who choose to gather with neighbors or fellow residents, a series of public events are planned, starting this week. The county and Santa Rosa's official memorial in Old Courthouse Square includes a series of events and opportunities for self expression Oct. 8 and 9.

“Some people are choosing to be elsewhere, and kind of do their own thing, and a lot of people come together for connection. For some it's a private experience and for others, it's more of a community experience … I guess the best word to use is that it feels raw,” said Wendy Wheelwright, a Sonoma County-based marriage and family therapist who works for the county and manages a project meant to address mental health issues in the fires' aftermath.

'Anticipatory anxiety'

Wheelwright, 42, whose childhood home outside Santa Rosa was destroyed by the fire, said she's seen or heard of many fire survivors who are experiencing “anticipatory anxiety” in the run-up to the fires. It's not unusual in such times for those who have been impacted by trauma to lose sleep and experience physical symptoms, like stomachaches or feeling tense and alert, she said.

“We all feel different. For some people, it's going numb and they're not going to feel anything and might think something is wrong,” said Wheelwright, project manager of California Helping Outreach Possibilities Empowering. “There's different ways of processing. It's OK to feel any one way about it. People will probably feel it just a little more than they normally would. It's nearer to the surface.”

Fire survivor Laura Roney regards the anniversary as a time “most would rather forget.” Her Fountaingrove home of 18 years on Skyfarm Drive is gone, and with it, six generations of family heirlooms. Rebuilding has been frustrating and she's seen beloved neighbors leave.

The amaryllis bulbs that began blooming in her front yard within a week of the fire offered her some solace.

“I kept saying being homeless is hard on your liver - it took a lot of beer for me to calm down,” said Roney, 65, who is renting a home off Brush Creek Road with her husband. “I'll probably drink that day. It's going to be one of those days … it is what it is.”

The months since Gabriel Coke lost his aunt, Carmen McReynolds, in the fires have been heavy with reflection. McReynolds, an 82-year-old retired physician, died inside her 1973 Mercedes inside the garage of her Fountaingrove home during the fire. She apparently was unable to open the garage door when the power went out.

Honoring a life

On the anniversary of her death, Coke wants to spend time with his family, but plans haven't been set. Instead of honoring her on a single day, he's sought out people this past year who can share new stories about her brave and adventurous life.

The tuberculosis survivor was inspired by her hardworking father, Joseph Golden McKinnley, who was the town doctor in Durango, Colorado, where she was raised. Sharply intelligent and an avid reader, she graduated from the University of Colorado Denver School of Medicine in the early 1960s, and worked for decades in the field.

Coke started playing guitar, one of her hobbies. She loved to play Hank Williams' songs. He wishes he knew more about her and he implored others to better acquaint themselves with the stories of their loved ones.

“There are a lot of things that shape ourselves that have to do with how the people in our lives became who they were,” he said. “There were a lot of things I learned about after she was gone. I wish I could have talked to her about them when she was here.”

The largest public gathering, in Old Courthouse Square, will be a time to commemorate loss and share stories, organizers said. The event, planned by Santa Rosa and Sonoma County officials, will feature a poem about the fires, the tolling of a bell to remember those who died in the fires and an opportunity for those in attendance to create art or speak with counselors.

For Sonoma County Supervisor Shirlee Zane, who was involved in planning the event, listening to survivors is an avenue for healing. Zane, who has worked in grief counseling and as a hospital chaplain, witnessed loss, sorrow and a sense of unity forged in the fires, which burned for 23 days.

“Thinking about those days and nights, I think about just trying to be there for people who lost so much,” she said. “When you're in a position of leadership and you go through something like this, it makes you feel really powerless at times.”

Santa Rosa Vice Mayor Chris Rogers, who also helped organize the Old Courthouse Square memorial, said the year mark is a time to voice gratitude for the community.

“The real beauty of this event is that it's going to capture where we are a year out. We have made pretty substantial progress, but not everyone is going to feel that progress the same way,” Rogers said. “If you've been able to rebuild your home, you might not be in the same place as someone negotiating with insurance companies.”

John Snetsinger's home just outside of Coffey Park survived the flames. On his drives through the neighborhood each morning before starting his shift as Santa Rosa Police lieutenant, Snetsinger is reminded of the devastation unleashed last Oct. 8.

He was on call that night and knocked on doors in Fountaingrove as it was overtaken by the Tubbs fire. Those who couldn't escape on their own he put into his patrol car and ushered to safety. Like many other public safety personnel who left their loved ones to do their jobs, his wife was on her own, evacuating their home with their dogs.

This year as the fires' anniversary arrives, Snetsinger will be at work.

“We got into this career for a reason and when I say ‘we,' I mean the entire department and all law enforcement. It's to give to the community and to help in times of crisis. Really, that's what we were doing that night,” he said. “A lot of officers I've talked to, without trying to minimize it have said ‘I went to work, and I did what I needed to do.' And that's it. I don't think there's anyone looking for more attention than that.”

Pride in accomplishments

Assistant Fire Marshal Paul Lowenthal's Larkfield home was destroyed by the Tubbs fire while he worked that night. He'll be on the job again this year as that day rolls around, marking the moment by doing his duty to the community. Come November, he'll celebrate his 40th birthday and the completion of his home rebuild.

“I think it will be hard in some respects to go back and think about where we were a year ago, and at the same time, be proud about how far the community has come,” he said.

After the fires, Coffey Park resident Jeff Okrepkie was thrust suddenly into a prominent role as a leader and spokesman for his devastated neighborhood. He helms Coffey Strong, a neighborhood group focused on recovery and rebuilding.

Okrepkie, who lost his Espresso Court home to the Tubbs fire, said he may stop by the Oct. 9 gathering planned for fire survivors in the neighborhood. But he plans to spend that night in quieter recollection with his wife and two children in their rented Santa Rosa home about 2 miles across town. The space still doesn't feel quite right - the hardwood floors aren't the best fit for kids and a dog - but it's the home he's made for now with his family.

“We want to spend time with each other,”said Okrepkie, 39. “We want to appreciate what we have now.”

Gathering to pray

Similar themes will be at the forefront of what Stephen Morris, director of the Youth and Young Adult Ministry at the Catholic Church's Diocese of Santa Rosa, described as the largest-ever planned Catholic and Protestant prayer gathering. He said 3,000 people are expected to attend the Oct. 7 meeting on the Cardinal Newman High School football field. It's one of many faith-based anniversary events over the next two weeks.

“We are able to honor all the different aspects of human feeling with this. Obviously there's a great sorrow, but also an acute focus of hope,” Morris said.

Sonoma County Supervisor Susan Gorin, who lost her Oakmont home to the Nuns fire, said she'll be attending events in Sonoma, including a private gathering of Glen Ellen community members and an Oct. 8 event at La Luz Center. But she'll also be taking a week in the Lake Tahoe area with her husband to complete the inventory of what they lost for insurance purposes, hash out the logistics of a rebuild and find peace in nature. As she's dealt with her own personal losses, she's watched her community hurt and heal.

“We will never again recover the innocence we had Oct. 7,” said Gorin. “We are in a very different space and time. ... Every time I hear about another fire or hurricane, I know what those families are going through because they are matching our experiences this past year.”

Marlo Bertozzi and her mother have sought to regain some sense of normalcy through small gestures. They bought “fire rings” with brilliant red garnet stones to replace the jewelry they'd picked up on previous trips to France and Mexico that burned with their home. It's a tiny symbol of the life they once had, but an important one.

“There have been so many highs and so many deep lows,” Chris Bertozzi said. “I think of this year as (one where) I'm in the tunnel. There's a light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm in the tunnel right now. We'll get through it.”

You can reach Staff Writer Hannah Beausang at 707-521-5214 or hannah.beausang@pressdemocrat.com. On Twitter @hannahbeausang.