PD Editorial: What are the lessons to be learned?

We'll never know whether a restraining order would have saved the life of Petaluma school teacher Kim Baucom Conover. The 43-year-old mother of four was gunned down Sunday by her husband, 41-year-old Kevin Conover, after talking to her divorce attorney about getting a restraining order. Court records show Conover had been turned down twice before in seeking such a protective order. The most recent rejection had occurred just a week earlier.

Given that her husband was lying in wait outside her attorney's office and took his own life after shooting her, it might not have made a difference. Still, the county is left to wonder how a beloved teacher and mother who was obviously fearing for the safety of her children and herself - despite waffling at times about the need for intervention - could not get the protection she needed.

What's known is that Kim Conover petitioned on March 6 for a temporary restraining order, alleging abuse dating back to 2009. The application made clear that Conover, who has 21-month-old twins with her husband and two teenage daughters from a previous marriage, was afraid. "Kevin is violent, assaultive, unpredictable, uses firearms and knives," the application said.

But Judge James Bertoli denied the request on grounds that the allegations were too old to warrant an emergency order. He agreed to reconsider the request after a few weeks but, by then, the petition had been withdrawn.

On April 9 Conover went to the Petaluma Police Department, reporting more abuse. She sought another restraining order. When a police officer investigated, the husband denied the claims. At that point, Kim Conover said she didn't want to seek prosecution.

Nevertheless, the officer took the request to Judge Virginia Marcoida, who denied the petition. Why is not entirely clear. But Rene Chouteau, the presiding judge of the Sonoma County Court, contends that Marcoida was just following the law and that the evidence didn't rise to the level of an "immediate and present danger."

Intervening in domestic abuse cases is difficult. Abused partners often change their stories in hopes that the situation will improve. Sometimes, it's a false hope. What we do know, however, is that Sonoma County needs to clear up the confusion about what happened in this case if only to provide clarity for the next person who finds herself, or himself, in a similar situation. What does warrant getting a restraining order?

The worst outcome is if someone in Kim Conover's situation comes away believing the threshold for getting help is too high and their best option is to stay with an abusive partner.

The fact is most requests for restraining orders are approved, and many services are available for those suffering from domestic abuse. But in the aftermath of this horrific killing, those facts are in danger of being lost.