Gullixson: Waging war against Muslims, the media and Agnes Grill

So much insanity. So little time to discuss it all.

Now people apparently are burning Harry Potter books in protest over J.K. Rowling’s unkind comments about he who must not be criticized - even if he leads us to war with Iran, Mexico and, now, Australia.

And that was just week two of his presidency.

It reminds me of a quote from Ray Bradbury, author of “Fahrenheit 451” – the temperature required for proper paper-scorching. “There are worse crimes than burning books,” he said. “One of them is not reading them.”

Of course, that is the curse of our age. People don’t read. They are too busy burning and professing outrage. Whether their anger is based on real facts or those of the alternative variety is inconsequential. Outrage is justification unto itself.

And of course the patron saint of this devotion to willful ignorance is No. 45 himself - Donald Trump.

Unfortunately, if we accept the Trump doctrine that writers are untrustworthy and that books and newspapers are good only for kindling, it’s hard to find material that will help us put these historic times in perspective. Fortunately, someone has already done that for us.

His name is Norman Jewison, and a half-century ago, during the height of the Cold War, he brought a Hollywood crew to Mendocino County to film a movie that captures so much of what is happening these days. It’s called “The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming.” A classic.

As one reviewer put it after its release in 1966, “It’s a movie about paranoia, patriotism and stupidity.” What better summary of the past few weeks.

Although it was shot in Mendocino - with harbor scenes filmed in Noyo Harbor south of Fort Bragg - the movie is a star-studded comedy about a Russian submarine that runs aground off fictional Gloucester Island near Cape Cod, Massachusetts. As a patrol of Russians, led by the brilliant Alan Arkin, try to get a boat to pull the submarine off the bar, chaos ensues as rumor spreads that the island is being invaded.

Although the level-headed Police Chief Link Mattocks (played by Brian Keith) tries to maintain calm, the blustering, saber-rattling Fendall Hawkins (played by Paul Ford) does the opposite, spreading fear and confusion. Ultimately, Hawkins is successful in taking command of a local militia and not a moment too soon as they hear what they believe are shots fired around the corner. “This may be it, men,” Ford shouts, directing the town folk to form a line of fire along the street. “Men with shotguns, don’t fire until you see the whites …”

Then the sum of their fears comes into view: It’s an out-of-control, back-firing motorcycle driven by a local eccentric - with a friend in a sidecar - who were out spreading word of the invasion.

“Get out of the way!” Ford shouts. “It’s Agnes Grill!”

It doesn’t take much to see the similarities between this scene and the madness of late. During his first 16 days in office, our sword-carrier in chief has made it clear that he is a Ford, not a Lincoln, a man bent on convincing the public that a new enemy lurks around every corner.

At first, the enemy was the media, whom he accused of being “the most dishonest human beings on earth.” His most authentic complaint? That a reporter got it wrong when he wrote on Jan. 20 that a bust of Martin Luther King Jr. had been removed from the Oval Office. Time magazine writer Zeke Miller, who wrote the story, quickly acknowledged the mistake saying that someone had blocked his view of the bust when reporters were allowed into the room. The reporter personally apologized and sent out more than a dozen tweets accepting blame. But the president continues to fire away, saying as recently as Wednesday that it was an example of “fake news” and was a “disgrace.” Yes, we get it. Awful. Horrible. The worst thing ever.

Then Trump was spreading panic about voter fraud. Millions voted illegally, he said. But his contention seemed to hinge on the number of people who are registered in more than one state, which happens when people relocate. After vowing to sign an executive order calling for a “major investigation,”the president quickly backed off as it turned out that White House chief strategist and senior counselor Steve Bannon and treasury secretary nominee Steven Mnuchin are both registered to vote in more than one state. The same turned out to be true of Trump’s press secretary Sean Spicer, his son-in-law Jared Kushner and his youngest daughter, Tiffany. And let’s not forget about Gregg Phillips, the man who Trump said was his authority on voter fraud. It turns out he’s registered in Alabama, Texas and Mississippi.

Then the enemy were Muslims, or maybe not Muslims, just people from Muslim countries who are not Christian. The president’s ban on immigrants from countries such as Syria, Iran and five other Muslim-majority nations was predicated on the argument that these people were not being vetted. Baloney. In fact, they went through intense screenings, some lasting as many as 18 months to two years.

And exactly how many Islamic extremist terror attacks would have been stopped if these prohibitions, which, thankfully, were blocked by a federal judge on Friday, were in place after 9/11? That would be zero.

But that’s not to say the bans didn’t have an impact. For example airport security at Dulles Airport in Washington, D.C., did manage to detain a 5-year-old boy from Iran for several hours without his parents or any family members being allowed to join him. He eventually was released when it turned out that the lad, in fact, was a resident of Maryland - and a U.S. citizen.

It so happens that it was also the plight of a young child in “The Russians are Coming” that eventually causes the good people of Gloucester Island and the Russian submarine crew to come to their senses and work together in a conclusion that is nothing short of inspired. Jewison would later say that, despite the deep Cold War tensions that existed at the time, one of his great memories was how the film was received at its first screening in Washington, and then, three weeks later in Moscow. In both cases, viewers responded with loud applause and more than a few tears. “That was thrilling for me,” he said.

But if you’re hoping for a similar ending for this real-life play occurring in the nation’s capital, I wouldn’t bet on it.

How did Spicer respond to criticism of the 5-year-old being held for five hours - on his birthday no less? “(To) assume that just because of someone’s age or gender or whatever that they don’t pose a threat would be misguided and wrong,” he said.

There you have it. The key to making America great again - detaining more American children.

Of course, most people don’t want to believe the worst in people and that there are enemies around every corner, especially 5-year-olds. But Trump is not like most people. He is who he is, sword and all.

So it will be interesting to see how this all plays out. All I can say is, I hope it turns out to be a comedy. Pass the popcorn.