LGBTQI families feel ‘radical inclusivity’ at Sonoma County campout

“I wanted to cry,” said Zahyra Garcia, 28, about the emotion that overwhelmed her when she and her family attended the first LGBTQI Family Celebration and Campout held in June 2016. “Here was a sense of belonging.”

That sense of belonging arose during the two-day event, where 35 LGBTQI parent-led families gathered on a sunny day for fun and relaxation in Sonoma.

It was the first time, Garcia says, that she, her wife, Chelsea, and their 20-month-old son felt a sense of normalcy and inclusivity since moving here from Daly City.

“I was just amazed to see so many queer families around us!” Garcia said.

The Garcia family is one of an estimated 375 LGBTQI families residing in Sonoma County, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. Despite Sonoma County being considered a supportive region for LGBTQI people, LGBTQI families raising children have specialized needs that some say are getting overlooked.

According to Renata Moreira, executive director of the San Francisco-based Our Family Coalition, social isolation is one of the biggest challenges impacting these families, especially families living in rural areas of the county where they may be the only LGBTQI family in their local community.

LGBTQI families may experience challenges that are not experienced by non-LGBTQI family, including discrimination, legal challenges and health care struggles.

“Compounding this is the fact that LGBTQ[I] families are nearly invisible in the literature and imagery of the fundamental institutions affecting them,” said Moreira, and that ranges from the literature in schools to doctors’ offices, and from advertising to children’s books.

Moreira added that this invisibility impacts the number of resources that communities allocate to LGBTQI families, including LGBTQI parenting classes, nutrition and health education and legal support.

Impact on children

Additionally, it also impacts the lives of children being raised by LGBTQI parents. These children often struggle with self-esteem challenges and complex social situations which can include bullying and questioning about their family structure from their peers.

“Sonoma County –– not in spite of but because of its strong and growing LGBTQ[I] family community –– deserves radical inclusive and welcoming schools and institutions for LGBTQ[I] caregivers and our children,” Moreria said.

It is that “radical inclusivity” and welcoming environment that grass-roots organizer, activist and mother of two Leslie Wiser, 40, of Sonoma, is working to create for LGBTQI parents and their children. Wiser organizes the annual LGBTQI Family Celebration and Campout, which will take place June 3-4 this year in Sonoma.

“LGBTQI parents and our children need support, resources and community building opportunities,” said Wiser. “We need to be visible to even ourselves, not just the greater Sonoma County community.”

Bonfire, stargazing

During the two-day celebration and campout, Wiser brings together LGBTQI families from throughout the county to meet each other, find support and, most importantly, have fun.

This year’s event features a pool party, a potluck dinner, a live bluegrass concert by the Shameless Band, a bonfire and stargazing until lights out. Wiser has carefully crafted the event to be a blend of traditional summer camp experiences and activities that are distinctly progressive and geared towards LGBTQI families.

This year, the campout will feature a screening of the documentary, “A Womb of Their Own.”

The documentary follows six masculine-identified people as they experience pregnancy and the challenges and surprises that they experience.

The next day, families will caravan to Guerneville where they will march in the Sonoma County Pride Parade.

Their parade participation is meant to help promote visibility of LGBTQI families to the public.

According to Wiser, marching in the parade instills hope and a feeling of support for parents. The children also find joy and value in the experience. “These parades are a favorite for our children,” she said. “It’s such a confidence boost for the kids hearing the crowd clap and cheer for them and they get to be the ones throwing candy to the crowd.”

The ultimate outcome for Wiser is to not only build a community around LGBTQI families and to increase their visibility in Sonoma County, but to also develop a more permanent support structure for families.

Wiser is seeking to create an organized coalition of resources and community building opportunities for Sonoma County LGBTQI families.

Coalition fundraiser

The celebration and campout serves as a fundraiser for this coalition, which will be either a Sonoma County branch of Our Family Coalition or an independent nonprofit focused on Sonoma County LGBTQI-parented families.

Through special events and a well-structured support system, Wiser hopes for a long-term impact on both the well-being of LGBTQI families and the general public.

“It normalizes our families and gives them the strength and answers they need to go out into the world and their schools,” says Wiser.

“It’s a benefit even to the youngest preschool aged children who, even at 2½ years old, are getting questions from their classmates about their family structure.”

It is that normalcy that Garcia recognized in last year’s event, and that normalcy she has continued to see grow in her and her young family’s life with the help of Wiser’s events.

The Garcia family is looking forward to the upcoming campout.

“We’re excited to meet new families and will like to see ?the expression on their faces when they see a diverse ?group of queer families,” Garcia says,

“We want to feel like we exist and we belong.”