Benefield: Rugby club teams preserve memory of Jesse Williams

Friday night’s rugby match between the Santa Rosa and Elsie Allen club squads was supposed to mean something. It was supposed to help determine the champion of the Redwood Empire Rugby League.

But the Santa Rosa club team, made up mostly of Cardinal Newman and Santa Rosa High athletes, lost last week, setting Elsie Allen up for a pretty clear march to a league title.

But the game will still mean something. In fact, Santa Rosa’s drop from contention does little to change the heat of the rivalry or the prize at the end of the match. Because the winner of the annual showdown between the two perennial club powers takes home the “Jesse Williams Cup.”

It’s the trophy bearing the name of an alum from the Santa Rosa squad who later forged deep ties to the Elsie team. While the rivalry goes back much further, the cup was named after Williams who died in 2007 while serving in the Army in Iraq.

“I think it’s a pretty big thing to the kids. The captains all talk about what it means to win this game,” said Alan Petty, who has for years coached the club team at Elsie Allen.

Petty taught the vivacious Williams as an eighth grader at Santa Rosa Junior High and later was on the opposite side of the field of his former student when Williams suited up for the Santa Rosa squad. But Petty and Williams’ orbits were never far out of sync - Williams married a woman who had close ties to Petty, so Williams started showing up at Lobos’ practices, talking with boys, learning from Petty.

Herb Williams, Jesse’s dad, called Petty a second father to his boy. He used the words mentor, counselor. “He understood Jesse,” he said.

So it only seemed right to honor Williams at the game between the two teams that held a place in his life.

It’s also become a chance for coaches and Williams’ father, Herb, to share something about Jesse. Yes, about his life, his military service and his death. But also about rugby and what the sport taught a free-spirited young man about teamwork and discipline.

“Rugby is one of those games where you really, truly have to play as a team or you don’t win,” Herb Williams said.

Williams will take a moment to address both squads before Friday night’s game.

Williams said the sport was a perfect fit for his boy, the boy who was a bit of a puzzle. Frustrated by his attention deficit disorder, he dropped out of Santa Rosa High. But at the same time, he was on his way to becoming an Eagle Scout. Only when he decided to join the Army did he commit to completing his GED.

Jesse was a boy who was full of energy and whippet fast but didn’t latch onto other sports the way he latched on to rugby.

Rugby gave Jesse Williams a taste of teamwork and dedication that became hallmarks of his personality, his dad said. It was a focus point for what Lynn Meister, coach of the Santa Rosa rugby club, remembers as Williams’ free spirit and nearly boundless energy.

It also offered a different kind of fraternity, and that suited Williams, coaches said.

“There is kind of a serious side to the traditions of rugby,” Meister said. “There’s maybe a little more of a brotherhood involved with rugby than with other sports.”

Teams have traditions amongst themselves, but there are also traditions that rivals share. Competitors on the field, but community off of it.

After rugby games, the players meet at midfield and - get this - choose a player from the opposing team to honor for exemplary play. Teams are known to share meals after competition.

“It’s not just ‘Good game,’ and orange slices,” Petty said.

Williams was a part of this rivalry for years, so keeping him a part of it even after he was killed seemed right. Seemed appropriate, coaches said.

“It gives us a chance to put everything in perspective,” Petty said.

“You create your own importance, you create you own value structure,” he said.

It also gives Herb Williams a chance to give thanks.

This game, this single game, helps Herb Williams today in the same way the sport helped him as a single dad raising a teenage boy on his own.

“I talk about how much he loved the game and how he taught me to love the game,” he said.

“It was a godsend for me,” he said. “When I knew he had rugby, I didn’t worry about him.”

But Williams will also talk about Jesse’s death and the loss he feels now more than ever.

“One, it’s cathartic for me and two, it makes them be a part of it,” Herb Williams said of sharing his son’s story.

And rugby will always be a part of that story.

But just one part.

Petty this week recalled the loss Jesse Williams’ death wrought. He felt it at the memorial service eight years ago when speakers and photos reminded people that Jesse was a decorated soldier, a new father, an Eagle Scout and a rugby player.

But Petty remembered more.

Before Jesse was all of those things, even before he was a rugby player, Williams was just a boy, one of many who would cross Petty’s path.

Petty recalled turning tearfully to his wife and saying “I’m remembering an eighth grade boy, a bouncing boy who couldn’t sit still in my class.”

You can reach Staff Columnist Kerry Benefield at 526-8671 or kerry.benefield@pressdemocrat.com, on Twitter @benefield and on Instagram at kerry.benefield.