Chip Kelly will be better than Jim Tomsula, right?

Just look at their résumés: Kelly is a bright, innovative offensive coach; Tomsula is a butcher. Kelly won 10 games in a season twice with the Philadelphia Eagles; Tomsula couldn’t win 10 games if you gave him two years. Kelly had tremendous success in college and probably would be one of the best head coaches in the NCAA right now if he weren’t coaching the 49ers; Tomsula is an embarrassment who couldn’t get a head-coaching gig in college, high school or pee-wee football. The butcher shop doesn’t even want him anymore, according to sources. The guy needs to leave town, change his name and wear a disguise. I suggest Groucho glasses, the pair with the fake nose.

Kelly’s stock couldn’t possibly sink that low, right? He still can show his face, although probably not in Philly. Philly ran him out of town. And no NFL team other than the Niners wanted any part of Kelly. The Niners were the only team that interviewed him.

In that sense, Kelly and Tomsula have a lot in common. Both were terrible last season. Kelly had no other NFL offers when the 49ers hired him in 2016, and Tomsula had no other offers when the Niners hired him in 2015. Kelly allegedly was the 49ers’ second choice for the head-coaching job after Hue Jackson, and Tomsula allegedly was the 49ers’ second choice for the head-coaching job after Adam Gase. Kelly failed to land his first choice for defensive coordinator — Mike Vrabel, and Tomsula failed to land his first choice for offensive coordinator — Rob Chudzinski.

Kelly and Tomsula have even more in common.

Once each became head coach of the Niners, both assembled bad coaching staffs full of assistants no other teams wanted. NFL rejects.

Good head coaches hire good assistants, regardless of the sport. Look at the Giants. Pitching coach Dave Righetti is the best. Or the Warriors. They started this season without their head coach, Steve Kerr, and still went 39-4 because Luke Walton and Ron Adams are premier assistant coaches in the NBA.

The Niners used to have premier assistants when Jim Harbaugh was the head coach. He came to Santa Clara in 2011 and hired four assistants who had at least 20 seasons of coaching experience in the NFL: defensive coordinator Vic Fangio, defensive backs coach Ed Donatell, offensive line coach Mike Solari and Special Teams coordinator Brad Seely. Four expensive, respected assistants who could coach wherever they wanted.

Get a load of Kelly’s coaching staff: Zero assistants with 20 years of NFL coaching experience, and just three with more than 10 years. The Niners coach with most experience in the league? Running backs coach Tom Rathman. Seriously.

On defense, Kelly’s entire staff has only 32 years of NFL coaching experience, and outside linebackers coach Jason Tarver accounts for 15 of those years. Inside linebackers coach Hardy Nickerson accounts for three, defensive line coach Jerry Azzinaro also accounts for three, defensive backs coach Jeff Halfey accounts for four and defensive coordinator Jim O’Neil accounts for seven.

That has to be by far the most inexperienced defensive staff in the NFL.

The offensive staff isn’t much better. Offensive coordinator Curtis Modkins has coached in the NFL for only eight seasons. Last season, he coached running backs for the Detroit Lions who finished dead last in rushing. You can’t make this stuff up.

Kelly’s quarterbacks coach, Ryan Day, has never developed a quarterback. He is 36 years old and has coached QBs for just three years — two with Boston College and one with the Eagles in 2015, his first year in the NFL. He’s on Kelly’s staff because he played quarterback for Kelly at the University of New Hampshire. You really can’t make this stuff up.

Kelly’s staff may be even worse than Tomsula’s, which was awful. At least it had 169 years of coaching experience in the league and two former NFL head coaches. Kelly’s staff of 12 assistants and coordinators has just 100 years of coaching experience in the league and zero former NFL head coaches. Kelly’s staff is a cheap college experiment.

Does that mean Kelly will be worse than Tomsula? No. That means Kelly won’t get a lot of help. Good luck, Coach. Hey, Chip — give our regards to The Butcher.

Grant Cohn writes sports columns and the “Inside the 49ers” blog for The Press Democrat’s website. You can reach him at grantcohn@gmail.com.