SANTA CLARA - After the 49ers gutless, inept, putrid, pathetic, horrid, unspeakable, you-want-to-die-laughing loss to the crummy New York Jets, the Niners need to fire, in the near future, Chip Kelly, Trent Baalke, Colin Kaepernick and Jed York.
Am I missing anybody?
But before we get serious about dropping the ax, first this news item. Jason La Canfora of CBS Sports reported Baalke is likely out after this season, Kelly may be out and Jed could be shuffled off to other — read insignificant duties — by mommy and daddy after making a complete, embarrassing, amateurish mess of the once-great, once-San-Francisco 49ers.
All in favor of these moves raise a victory yell.
I’ll start with Kelly because he is the living end. The biggest fraud coach I ever covered. With Jim Tomsula, you knew the poor guy was overmatched. But Kelly, who has an ego as big as Alaska, acts like he invented football. Acts like Bill Walsh, Tom Landry and Don Shula couldn’t hold his clipboard.
What a phony. Sure, he has a bad roster. Sure, that’s Baalke’s fault. But Sunday’s loss wasn’t due to Baalke alone. It was due to bad, unimaginative, cowardly coaching. And that’s on the Chipster.
His team jumped to a big lead over the Jets who didn’t want to play. Certainly seemed like it. And then the Niners died. Wimped out. Did not score a single point in the second half or overtime. Got outscored 20-0 once the second half started. Rolled over and played dead. And that’s on the Chipster.
Chip dominated in the first half but made zero adjustments in the second half as usual. That is on him. Not on anyone else. Not on Baalke or the Easter Bunny. That’s on Chip all by himself. He is a very bad coach.
Afterward, he gave typical mealy-mouthed answers to the media. He excels at making excuses. It’s the best part of his game. He said the Niners didn’t do well in the second half because of injuries.
He actually had the nerve to blame injuries. Where’s his pride? Forget that the Jets lost starting safety Marcus Gilchrist, starting running back Matt Forte and starting tight end Brandon Bostick. Everyone loses players. Nobody cares. You keep playing. It is so weak to blame injuries, the mark of a coach who does not belong. Chip Kelly is weak — weaker than Tomsula ever was.
I asked him why the team always goes in the dumper in the second half — although my language was more polite. He song-and-danced around it for a while, gave a nothing answer. He specializes in no answer. I pressed him, said it’s a continuing pattern of futility. “I look at it game by game,” he lectured me like the most boring high-school history teacher anyone ever had.
Game by game? No, dude, you have to look at the big picture. The relevant patterns. You learn and adjust.
Sorry, but Chip talks and acts like a loser. His record screams to the world, Loser!
Enough of him.
The Niners absolutely must fire Baalke. He’s as bad as Chip. What a pair to run a football operation. His drafts are unspeakable. His roster smells like dead fish. He has no idea how to create a team. He doesn’t understand offense.