Lowell Cohn: Warriors open season with a flop to remember

OAKLAND - Big flops are forever interesting. Even fascinating.

The Golden State Warriors flopped really big on Tuesday night in their season opener, got schooled by the San Antonio Spurs 129-100. It was a Warriors flop of the highest magnitude, and it was awe inspiring, and it's something they specialize in.

The last time we saw them was in the NBA Finals. Was that a few weeks ago? They flopped three times in a row then, lost the final three games of the series, the last one at home as they sleepwalked to defeat.

So, they have practice in the old flopperoo.

But Tuesday, their fourth loss in a row if you're counting, was supposed to be different. They weren't supposed to flop. They were supposed to win. Forget win.

The team that set a record with 73 regular-season wins was supposed to transcend all known basketball reality and redefine the sport.

That's because they had acquired Kevin Durant in the offseason. Just about every expert and some not-so-experts said the Warriors have the greatest collection of talent in the august history of hoops. Look at these names: Durant, Stephen Curry, Klay Thompson and Draymond Green.

Any team that has to play those superstars is in deep trouble. You almost mourned for the Spurs as they took the court. You almost wrote an essay on the fundamental unfairness of life.

And, really, the pregame celebration was worthy of the Warriors. Although they are no longer world champs, everybody acts like they are. The Warriors ran onto the court while the big overhead screen showed nonstop Durant. Durant jogging. Durant shooting. Durant breathing. Durant being Durant. It was like Zeus had joined us mortals from Mount Olympus.

And he was truly godlike. Seriously, he was.

He made his first shot, a sweet short jumper over Tony Parker. He grabbed a rebound, dribbled up the court, bounced a pass to Draymond Green, which Green somehow blew.

Durant made his first four shots, one a 3, and scored nine of the Warriors' first 14 points. In the first quarter alone, he grabbed a ton of rebounds, blocked layups, stole the ball and leaped tall buildings in a single bound. Scratch that last one.

He was just great, everything the Warriors paid for. Unfortunately, the home team trailed 31-20 at the end of one quarter. And it got worse. Much worse. The Spurs, who, in case you don't know, have a proud tradition of their own, shot better and ran better and rebounded better and defended better than the Warriors.

And it goes to show, even if a team has the famous names, it doesn't always win. Or even impress. That's really the fundamentally unfair part of life. Put that in your essay.

Point of fact. The Spurs' frontcourt outplayed the Warriors frontcourt. You can look up the numbers. This I'll tell you, LaMarcus Aldridge owned Green. Look that one up, too.

And by the way, while we're on the topic of Green, level head that he is, he got assessed a technical foul for taunting at 8:56 in the third quarter and proceeded to argue with an official. So, he's learned nothing.

There are words for people who willfully refuse to learn. It should be an interesting season with Draymond.

And later on, Kawhi Leonard snatched the ball right out of Stephen Curry's hands, then drove to the hoop for a dunk which put San Antonio up by 20. So, that's another thing that hasn't changed - Curry generously offering up the ball.

And the Warriors were soft. Let's not mess around with false politeness here. They were a soft jump-shooting team. One of those teams. All flash and no steel. And I'll tell you why.

No Andrew Bogut.

That's why.

Tell me the Warriors don't need Bogut. Don't need his rebounds, his blocked shots, his refusal to permit easy layups from the opponent.

He is limited, sure.

Can't shoot. Has a bad arm and fears going to the foul line - doesn't want to appear a fool. But he's a mean son of a gun. Drive on him, he'll knock you out.

Now, it's an open highway to the Warriors' basket. All big rigs welcome. No need to stop at the scales. Just barrel on through.

I mean, who is Zaza Pachulia, the new center? Did you even notice him in the game?

He couldn't defend the lane or the rim. Little guys shot over him. He is a problem. The Warriors have a problem.

Makes you think a team is more than glamorous shooters, more than pure beauty and balletic moves and all that stuff.

Kerr did not seem crushed afterward. That is one of his overarching skills, to remain composed, to keep his good humor.

“We know it's going to take some time,” he said about building his team. “That was obvious tonight.”

Did he see this loss coming?

“No, I didn't see losing by 29 points. You can tell we're still searching for our rotations and our patterns and who's going to play with whom. I told the team it's a long season. We're going to have to experiment with different combinations as we try to figure out who we're going to be.”

A question of identity at the very least.

Here was Durant after the game, Durant calm, good-natured. “We'd love to win the game,” he said. “We can't overreact. It's a slap in the face, woke us up a bit.”

Certainly one loss, even a bad loss, is no big deal. But no one expected this level of sheer nothingness from the Fabulous Four and the nationally hyped Warriors. And I'll tell you this.

Right now, the Warriors are closer to being a world-class flop than a championship outfit. One assumes that condition won't persist.

For more on the world of sports in general and the Bay Area in particular, go to the Cohn Zohn at cohn.blogs.pressdemocrat.com. You can reach Staff Columnist Lowell Cohn at lowell.cohn@pressdemocrat.com.