Straight Talk: Brother dislikes chauffeuring older sister

Dear Straight Talk: I am 17 and got my license at 16. The problem is that my older sister, 19, never got her license so my parents have assigned me as her driver. I have a job, school, and other things to do. She’s never even had a job because she doesn’t “feel” like getting her license. I think she’s just lazy and me having to drive her everywhere is unfair. - No Chauffeur in Toledo, Ohio

Kendall, 16, Santa Rosa: I got my license right away because I have things to do, places to go, work to be done. Your sister sounds sort of the opposite. The adult world is scary and so is not knowing what to do with your life. But driving helps a lot and opens many doors. You shouldn’t have to shuttle her around.

Maddie, 15, Cotati: I’m getting my permit and have always wanted to drive. For me it’s freedom. I thought I’d be in your shoes, because my older brother had no interest in driving. But now, at 18, he’s finally learning. For some reason, many in my generation aren’t interested in driving. The good side is fewer cars, accidents, and less pollution, but it’s an important skill for when you need it.

Lyra, 18, Sonoma: Driving is an opinion-riddled topic today and it’s unfair to assume she’s lazy. Ask your sister why she isn’t getting her license.

Gregg, 23, Houston, Texas: Your sister is very likely afraid. A 20-something friend was terrified of driving and my brother, who taught her in empty parking lots, would come home going, “Oh, my God!” She was very, very frightened and basic things, like when to release the wheel on a turn, were extremely difficult for her. She finally got licensed at 25. It’s interesting because driving seemed easy when I was 16, but now, after driving seven years, with a motorcycle for the last two, I’m much more afraid. When you think how fast the cars are going, how fast YOU need to be going, and how much can go wrong so quickly, I see how some people avoid it. Someone needs to help her real slow in a empty parking lot - followed by a behind-the-wheel class. Driving actually gets harder the longer you wait. It’s worth your parent’s investment or she won’t leave home. Chauffeuring her isn’t fair to you and just keeps her dependent.

Colin, 21, Sacramento: Not getting a driver’s license is a valid choice, but that doesn’t obligate others to ferry you around like a sheik. If people offer rides, great, but inconveniencing them? Not cool. I don’t have a license because I don’t like cars and the negative things they are responsible for. I walk, bike, carpool, or take public transit. Asking for rides is a last resort.

Brie, 23, San Francisco: What’s her reasoning? Did something traumatic happen? If not, your parents are being lazy, too. Charging her taxi rates might motivate her. I take public transit a lot, but it’s important to know how to drive.

Dear No Chauffeur: I hope your parents read this. I feel very strongly - you could say driven - about two lessons: swimming lessons and driving lessons. These are safety fundamentals, not enrichments, and parents handicap a child if they don’t flat-out insist upon them and make them happen. Both skills have a learning sweet spot (swimming age 6-10, driving age 15-18) and are increasingly more difficult after that. Not being able to drive can lead to long-term dependency, low self-esteem, and vulnerability. While most panelists side with you, it’s important to help your family. Make a deal. You drive her only if she starts driving lessons. Everyone wins. - Lauren

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