‘A spitfire and go-getter’: North Bay Spirit Award winner brings energy to Sonoma County Pride

If ever a name described a person, it would be Grace Villafuerte.

Parents Guadalupe and Victor Villafuerte could not have put together two more fitting names for their third child, who charges full force (fuerte means strong in Spanish) at every opportunity to serve her many communities — LGBTQ people, Asian Americans, Filipinos, senior citizens, widows and Santa Rosans. And she does it with uncommon grace, expressed through an unconditional compassion and a vitality that sometimes leaves people breathless in the wake of her dynamism.

“She is just so mighty,” said Lisa Carreno, president and CEO of United Way of the Wine Country. “She is just so remarkably positive and resilient that people feel her power. She exudes that might.”

One of Villafuerte’s chief roles right now is as vice president of Sonoma County Pride, an organization that for more than 30 years has sought to encourage, support and celebrate the LGBTQI community and showcase their accomplishments and contributions. Currently, they’re winding down a whirlwind four weeks of events, community talks and gatherings marking Pride Month.

Usually compressed into a few days punctuated by a traditional parade and festival, the annual celebration this year popped up everywhere with events large and small, from a Tea & Shade Drag Show to a drive-thru parade at Graton Resort and Casino. There was a comedy night in Kenwood with Jason Stuart and Dominique Gelin, a “Wizard of Oz” singalong at Sally Tomatoes, a scavenger hunt, outdoors events and a series of online community conversations on serious topics like support for caregivers, “chosen families” and body dysmorphia.

Pride Month in Sonoma County closes out with the Drag Me to The River drag brunch and benefit for Sonoma County Pride at 12:30 p.m. today in Petaluma and a professionally led therapeutic movement class that mixes martial arts, yoga, dance and nature. That starts at 10 a.m. at the Andy Lopez Unity Park, 3399 Moorland Ave. in Santa Rosa, and is open to all ages. All the events are in service to Pride’s mission to celebrate and uplift the widely diverse LGBTQ community and meet their needs and interests.

At the center of the action is Villafuerte, dreaming up new ideas and facilitating, coordinating and marshaling a small army of volunteers to pull it all off. She is not too proud to also put up and take down equipment and operate out of the hatchback of a small Honda.

“Whatever your charity, she puts her hands on, wherever she sees the need,” said Tina Jackson, co-owner of El Coqui restaurant in Santa Rosa. “She pulls from her source of people because she’s connected with a lot of people.”

One of Villafuerte’s greatest strengths, and her chief responsibility in Pride, is to gather and coordinate volunteers, who are essential to the success of nonprofit fundraising. Villafuerte helped Jackson mount a successful auction and event to raise money for hurricane relief in Puerto Rico in 2017, using her longtime friendships and connections to pull together raffle items and musicians and volunteers for the effort that ultimately raised $8 million for the stricken U.S. territory.

For her compassion and infectious enthusiasm for her many communities and fierce commitment to social justice, Villafuerte was selected to receive June’s North Bay Spirit Award. The award, a joint project of The Press Democrat and Comcast, honors people who go above and beyond to serve their communities in ways that are particularly effective and inspire others to give of themselves, too.

“Grace is a pillar in many communities in Sonoma County,” said Elenita Strobel, a professor emeritus of American multicultural studies at Sonoma State University who, like Villafuerte, has roots in the Philippines.

Strobel noted that Villafuerte has served on the boards of several nonprofits, including The Living Room day shelter for homeless women and children, Face to Face/Sonoma County AIDS network and Sonoma County Pride.

“She is an ubiquitous presence in rallies and fundraisers for worthy causes as she speaks for justice, whether it’s LGBTQIA causes, anti-Asian hate, women’s rights, immigration and other issues,” Strobel said.

“As a native Santa Rosa daughter of Filipino immigrant parents, she shows her commitment to care for the elderly and their communities,” Strobel added. “I am impressed by her indefatigable commitment, and her spirit of kindness and generosity is something I honor and seek to emulate.”

As a Filipina American/Asian American gay woman in Sonoma County, the 46-year-old county social worker has navigated sometimes challenging terrain, Strobel said.

“We've had conversations about how to understand racial dynamics locally as demographics shift,” Strobel said. “Her openness and big-heartedness enables her to keep reaching across many divides.”

Helping is a family tradition

Villafuerte’s parents came to the U.S. from the Philippines in 1973 and immediately set roots through the Santa Rosa Filipino Community Center. They always were helping others and volunteering, even hosting other new immigrants in their Montgomery Village home until they could get on their feet. Pitching in, Villafuerte said, was just a way of life. Her father was president of the Filipino Community Center and her mother taught dance, an important part of Filipino culture.

She has a deep respect for her elders, evident in her work providing in-home support for people through the Adult and Aging Division of the Sonoma County Human Services Department. She knows she stands on the shoulders of those who went before her, and it inspires her to pay it forward.

“I get to enjoy the life I live as a result of the immigrants who came before me and the LGBTQ people who came before me and the women who came before me,” she said. “We enjoy so many rights — not privileges but rights — because people fought for them.”

Her maternal grandmother was mayor of her small town in the mountains in the Philippines and was dedicated to programs and services that helped people struggling in the barrios.

Villafuerte also learns from other volunteers. One of her earliest jobs after graduating from college in San Diego and returning to Sonoma County was working with the homeless, including as a project coordinator for The Living Room.

She was awed by the volunteers who showed up week after week, some well-to-do but not out of touch with the suffering and needs of others.

“I learned so much about how — to be a true volunteer — you put yourself aside. You don’t second guess or say, ‘I don’t know about that job.’ You just do it. The volunteers I coordinate now (through Sonoma County Pride), I’m so impressed by them. They just go, go, go. And their giving inspires my giving.”

Love and loss

Six years ago, Villafuerte lost her beloved partner Lynn Marie Companario to cancer. The pair shared a passion for social justice. Companario worked in HIV prevention and education and had served as homeless programs coordinator for Sonoma County.

“She was smart and the genius and brilliant. I was the fun one,” said Villafuerte, able to smile now after a difficult period of grief that found her seeking support through Camp Widow. The organization brings together and gives comfort to people who have lost a life partner. Villafuerte saw the need for a group just for LGBTQ people and created one as a safe place to share experiences. She is still actively leading it years later.

“We already filter our words. We don’t want to have to do that in our grief,” she said, referring to how LGBTQ people may hold back, fearing judgment and backlash for being open with who they are.

She and Companario partnered in service on many things, and Villafuerte later continued their shared commitment. She served on the Santa Rosa Board of Community Services, which advises the City Council about recreational and cultural policies and facilities, and currently serves on the city of Santa Rosa Merit Awards committee, which honors people, organizations and businesses who volunteer to serve the community and improve the quality of life in Santa Rosa. With the United Way she is a member of the Pride United Advisory Committee that distributes grants to organizations that serve LGBTQ people.

But in the last two years she has been a key force with Sonoma County Pride, recruited to serve as volunteer coordinator because of her deep and far-reaching connections with so many different segments of the community.

“She’s a spitfire and go-getter,” said Chris Kren-Mora, president of Sonoma County Pride, who affectionately calls Villafuerte his “Pride wife.”

“She and I bounce a lot of ideas off each other. It’s been great working with her. We’re like yin and yang. She thinks very well on her feet and is always thinking ahead.”

The pair have pulled off a major feat of organizing a huge variety of events sprinkled throughout Pride Month instead of a single blow out. Last year’s Pride went completely online. But not knowing how the pandemic would play out months ago, the group opted for a mix of events in person and online this year.

For the drive-thru Pride parade, “We had maybe 365 cars and almost 800 people in those cars — and 15 animals,” said Villafuerte, quick to be inclusive. “In a normal year, a few thousand come to the Pride parade. People this year said they waited up to 30 minutes to enter the parade route, but nobody complained. We had to start turning people away.”

Parade-goers, some sporting rainbow flags and balloons, inched along a path, driving past booths where nonprofit representatives, some dressed in line with the Wizard of Oz “Over the Rainbow” theme, ran up to windows with brochures and swag.

Villafuerte said there was a potential advantage with the upside-down parade where the attractions stayed put and the spectators paraded.

It allowed those with disabilities or health issues, or who might still be tentative about coming out, to take part from the safety of their cars. And the variety of events throughout the month, she said, might have prompted people to participate who may not be comfortable with big, crowded events.

That is Villafuerte’s way — to see the upside, even with a foot firmly planted in the reality that there is so much work yet to be done to provide justice for all, regardless of age, ethnicity, race or color on the Pride rainbow.

She has a particular sensitivity for those on the margins, such as the elderly and immigrants without legal status, and wants to do what she can to draw attention and find solutions for their needs.

“Those are particularly vulnerable populations living closeted and under the radar,” said Carreno of United Way. They tend to rely on themselves, often because their legal status, age and culture can make them feel targeted.

“Grace is just really brilliant at helping us understand their fear, their vulnerability, the power dynamics that are at play and the barriers they confront and that they need help to overcome.”

You can reach Staff Writer Meg McConahey at 707-521-5204 or meg.mcconahey@pressdemocrat.com. OnTwitter @megmcconahey.