Dear Abby: Man lets anniversary pass without any celebration
Dear Abby: I have been married to my husband 25 years as of today. (We’ve been a couple for 32 years.) He has done absolutely nothing to commemorate this. I reminded him months ago to save for something because it was very important to me. My friends would have happily helped him do something.
Every year it’s the same old nothing. He asked me to remind him and I did, but it made no difference. Same with my birthday. Yes, we have been in better positions financially than now. But if something was important to him, he always saved for it. I have money put away we could have used, and he knew this. Yet nothing.
The only time he shows me any kind of emotion or love/sex is when he’s drunk. But he swears he loves me. I don’t suspect cheating. He doesn’t care what he looks like when we go places. I always try to look my best.
I’m at the end of my rope. This 25th anniversary really hurt me. He said we’ll do something when he can. I can’t take it anymore. I feel worthy of nothing, like I don’t matter. What do I do?
— Anniversary Sadness
Dear Anniversary Sadness: If the only time your husband shows you any kind of affectionate attention is when he is drunk, you have bigger problems than the fact that he “forgets” special occasions. Is this the way you want to spend the next 25 years of your life?
Receiving gifts does not make a person “worthy.” You need to work on your level of self-esteem. As expensive as a celebration might have been, a gift you could both benefit from would be couples counseling.